'about which she spoke with her lips sealed'... Whoa! The 'invisible', etc, have a bit of a wonderfully haunting effect on this piece. She's screaming, but she's not screaming physically, and we suddenly, (or I thought), knew that it was her expression. I loved that you didn't make this poem too long- you packed what you needed in five intense lines. That's all you needed, and that's all you took. It really bothers me when poets try to make their poems longer than necessary; please make sure you never, ever do this! It's like you have to wade through all of the unnecessary junk to get to the good stuff. Really nice job here!
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Dear Firabelle,
Glad to have your refreshing review. And don't worry, I am not good at elabor.. read moreDear Firabelle,
Glad to have your refreshing review. And don't worry, I am not good at elaborating stuff, so I will be done in whatever it needs, not a word more.
Thank you.
Jyoti
good stuff says i!! one never knows ... how someone next to us (friend or stranger) may be screaming inside ..all it takes is a little time to offer a smile, hello, or how's it going for you to open up a whole life to a listening ear ..great poem ..well stated ..creative and precise says i! ;)
E.
Many people will choose to remain blissfully ignorant. You've written a deep and meaningful poem Jyoti which succinctly encapsulates that natural inclination.
Well done Jyoti. Keep smiling. :)
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you Andrea! And I am happy! :D
Glad to see you.
Hey! I am Jyoti, have seen 21 winters pass without a trace of snow; (it never snows in the west region of INDIA).
Hope to see it someday..!
Believe in living and loving every moment of life.. Of cou.. more..