Twinkling Star

Twinkle, twinkle little star

marred with scars of love and war

you shine when the world is sleeping tight

like a ray of hope guiding through the night

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star

witnessing my euphoria and despair

you are like an oasis in the barren sky

bravely, holding your ground up so high

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star

marred with scars of love and war

you blink and wink while I gaze

bring the new moon, spellbound in daze

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star

I stoically wait, from afar

for you to soothingly touch my soul,

rejuvenate my body, make me whole

********

Author's Note

Star gazing..
Thank you for your time!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Beautiful and hopeful words dear Poet.
"Twinkle, twinkle little star
I stoically wait, from afar
for you to soothingly touch my soul,
rejuvenate my body, make me whole"
I liked the above lines and thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much for your kind visit!

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[terry smith]

i wish i may ..i wish i might....remove the darkness with my light...to give to you a magical might ...to live as love throughout your life....

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh Terry dear! That really touched! Beautiful, thank you!

[Perkele.7885]

Twinkle, twinkle little star on the other side of the world
bring some solace to this pretty girl
shine down on her along with your friend the moon
promise her that the world will be peaceful soon.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh thank you, Mr Rajaniemi! This is very beautiful way!
Thank you!

[siddhi]

it's fab jyoti great words used within truly said small but beautiful i loved it thankyou

siddhi

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[siddhi]

my pleasure.........................:)
siddhi

[E G TEN]

Hello Jyoti, Star gazing is one of those pastimes/ hobbies
That we dont get tire of. The night sky no matter how many
Times we get look upon it we still get lost with its beauty,
Its different every night. Very cool with a harmonious tone
Into this piece. Thanks EG

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, E G Ten!

[Akki]

Hey your blog is so nice....
Your poem is really good. I remember this title "Twinkle twinkle little star" if I am not wrong then this was a famous song for child but, you used very effectively... see you soon on wordpress...
Keep writing... stay connected... : )

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Sure! Thank you!

[ExquisiteEyes]

I like the twist to the popular nursery rhyme-'twinkle twinkle little star'.
You have managed to replace the innocence with a deep and grave tone. Good word choice. And I absolutely love the line- ' marred with scars of love and war'. It emphasized the poet's maturity.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much for your kind insights!

[V]

The image is nice but you should stick to the rhythmic pattern as in "twinkle twinkle little star". There are so many lines where you just totally break the tune/rhythm and, at least to me, it just reads a little weird. Sorry for my maybe way too constructive review but I just felt like telling you. (I think, there should be 7 syllables in a line, maybe even 8 to keep the rhythm and another advice: also the length and construction of words are important when writing pieces like this-see line "you blink and wink while I gaze" matches the nr of syllables but not the tune somehow). I think it would be a really nice write, if you changed the pattern/structure. Nevertheless, have a nice time sharing your writings here.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Mimi, I will soon edit the piece for better. Thank you for your kind insights and suggestions. :)

[McBear]

The word choice you used provided a clean, beautiful twist to this classic :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind visit!

[Avinash]

This has a surprising twist to the well known poem although a good one.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind visit!