Asmaan aur panchi (The sky and the bird)

 

Asmaan aur panchi

Us asmaan ke daaman ko chu na paya panchi tu,

Kya un baadalon ne gumrah kar diya tha tujhe,

Ya kuch zameen par hi tujhe jakade hue tha?

 

Tere liye to tadapta, tarasta tha vo bhi upar,

Tere saye ko pane ki chahat to use bhi thi,

Vo os ki boonde the uske aasu, rota tha vo bhi har pal

 

Tu farfarata, pankh jhatakta, udaan bharne ki koshishe karta

Vo bijli khadakata, paani barsata, tere judai me julasta rehta

Jaa ud ja aaj sari bediyan todke, gale lag ja apne manzil ke!

**************************************

English Translation:

The Sky and the bird

Oh bird! You weren’t able to touch the sky’s cloak

Did those clouds pervert you on the way

Or was something binding you to earth, itself?

 

Even the sky wriggles and aches above, for you

It desires to capture your silhouette in its arms

Those ever falling dew drops are its tears

 

You flutter and beat the wings in the attempts to fly

It thunders and rains but scorchs in your separation

Go fly away, breaking all the fetters today and embrace your destiny!

Author's Note

Another hindi poem! Well, I love those creatures with wings!

Tried my best to translate it into english, while being true to its essence and without altering much.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

simply beautiful ..reminds me of Kahlil Gibran's writings ... symbiotic relationships of all things with selfless love the encompassing mix ... love the sky's cloak .. the bird able to fly and be embraced ..wonderful writing for me this morning... thanks for sharing!
E.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your insights, E!

[Riddhi]

Very nice poem....and i really enjoyed reading it....you have carved the main idea of this poem in a very beautiful poem...Great work and thanks for sharing....

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you dear Riddhi. I really appreciate your kind review.

[sarik]

Superb yr,

In praise of your poetry I would like to add few words from my style..hope you like..,

urne de parindo ko khule asmaan me Jyoti,

daar-hakikat jo apke apne honge ,wo lout ayenga....

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Well said! Thank you for the kind comment.

[sarik]

pleasure is all mine...

ThanQ yOU again for the wonderful lines..

[Deepak Belbase]

time to break the cage of insecurities, to wake up and let fly in the sky, it's an inspiration for all the caged birds to get back what's their own. i Gauss it's freedom!... thanks to share this piece!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the insightful review!

[wordman]

reads like a play,birds flying in the sky,but held in it`s realm like a fish bowl
something here pulling it back..i liked the write !

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Wordman! I really appreciate your kind comment!
:D

[Bear]

This would have fit in nicely with Richard Bach's Jonathan Livingston Seagull soundtrack by Neil Diamond, I can just imagine this coming right after "Lonely Looking Sky". If you have never heard it you can on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jbIizyoLdI
I have worn out two albums and at least as many 8tracks of this album so if I think your poem would fit in that should tell you how much I like your poem :~)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh wow! The song is beautiful! It's an awesome compliment coming from you! Thank you Bear! :D

[Inject Positivity]

Well both these versions sounds quite brilliant......Your choice of words and putting them in such an amazing way made the poem much more beautiful.....Loved the way you have used natural elements in your poetry....Thumbs up!!!! Full rating....

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for this beautiful review! Very much appreciated. :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

hehe... gravity binds everything to earth...everything, but the sky, and whatever that lies beyond.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Very true my dear.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! It is much appreciated.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

you're welcome. :)

[M P Ramesh]

jyoti,

It's an apprehension
whether the sky may fence like a mattress
while conducting a fly for everyone
There is no escape until we nurture art of forgetting

Carry on....

MPR

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your insightful review. Very much appreciated! :)

[Aero]

Jyoti this is an amazing writing! very short and sweet, but so well written! i love it

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much, Aero for reading and reviewing.