Asmaan aur panchi (The sky and the bird)

 

Asmaan aur panchi

Us asmaan ke daaman ko chu na paya panchi tu,

Kya un baadalon ne gumrah kar diya tha tujhe,

Ya kuch zameen par hi tujhe jakade hue tha?

 

Tere liye to tadapta, tarasta tha vo bhi upar,

Tere saye ko pane ki chahat to use bhi thi,

Vo os ki boonde the uske aasu, rota tha vo bhi har pal

 

Tu farfarata, pankh jhatakta, udaan bharne ki koshishe karta

Vo bijli khadakata, paani barsata, tere judai me julasta rehta

Jaa ud ja aaj sari bediyan todke, gale lag ja apne manzil ke!

**************************************

English Translation:

The Sky and the bird

Oh bird! You weren’t able to touch the sky’s cloak

Did those clouds pervert you on the way

Or was something binding you to earth, itself?

 

Even the sky wriggles and aches above, for you

It desires to capture your silhouette in its arms

Those ever falling dew drops are its tears

 

You flutter and beat the wings in the attempts to fly

It thunders and rains but scorchs in your separation

Go fly away, breaking all the fetters today and embrace your destiny!

Author's Note

Another hindi poem! Well, I love those creatures with wings!

Tried my best to translate it into english, while being true to its essence and without altering much.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

simply beautiful ..reminds me of Kahlil Gibran's writings ... symbiotic relationships of all things with selfless love the encompassing mix ... love the sky's cloak .. the bird able to fly and be embraced ..wonderful writing for me this morning... thanks for sharing!
E.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your insights, E!

[ExquisiteEyes]

Personally, I love the Hindi version more than the English one. It sounds more beautiful. The poem made me feel a myriad of emotions.
Exquisite!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh thank you ExquisiteEyes! Well I actually wrote the Hindi one originally but jus translated it in English for my friends here on cafe.
Thank you! :)

[An owl on the moon]

Love your voice in Hindi and English, and there is something pure magic about birds, perhaps because I have an endless ache to join them in the heavens. This is filled with such beauty and wonder and light. Your words lift us powerfully, dear poet. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much Craig! Glad you can relate!

[FaeryQueen]

greatly penned..................

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Long time!
Thank you sweetie!

[Avinash]

Behtareen aur khubsurat shabdon me piroyi kavita.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Dhanyavad!

[Perkele.7885]

Our bird does not seem to be able to get off the ground. Often times in life, the young person finds it hard to leave the nest of the parent and move out on one's own, to fly away as it were, the first time around. It gets easier with practice!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I hope it does, someday.
Thank you for the insightful review.

[Moizz]

Chaalaja dhaaarti ko chor ke,sama ja tu niley asman mey...
Choo ley uchaiya tu ,ja mil apni taqdir sey! :)
nice work,classy piece of poem!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Wow! That's really cool!
Thank you!

[Moizz]

you're welcome!

[ImRan kabir]

Fullfill of Feeling dear.
Great job.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Stan Lee]

Lovely to see another Hindi/English poem Jyoti. Beautiful imagery. I liked it a lot. Just on line 2. It should read "pervert" not "perverted". :) great poem!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Andrea, point noted! Made the changes...

[Emily]

I loved it!
Well done!
Keep it up!!

[Rajat malik]

Great one yaar... Keep it up!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!