Asmaan aur panchi (The sky and the bird)

 

Asmaan aur panchi

Us asmaan ke daaman ko chu na paya panchi tu,

Kya un baadalon ne gumrah kar diya tha tujhe,

Ya kuch zameen par hi tujhe jakade hue tha?

 

Tere liye to tadapta, tarasta tha vo bhi upar,

Tere saye ko pane ki chahat to use bhi thi,

Vo os ki boonde the uske aasu, rota tha vo bhi har pal

 

Tu farfarata, pankh jhatakta, udaan bharne ki koshishe karta

Vo bijli khadakata, paani barsata, tere judai me julasta rehta

Jaa ud ja aaj sari bediyan todke, gale lag ja apne manzil ke!

**************************************

English Translation:

The Sky and the bird

Oh bird! You weren’t able to touch the sky’s cloak

Did those clouds pervert you on the way

Or was something binding you to earth, itself?

 

Even the sky wriggles and aches above, for you

It desires to capture your silhouette in its arms

Those ever falling dew drops are its tears

 

You flutter and beat the wings in the attempts to fly

It thunders and rains but scorchs in your separation

Go fly away, breaking all the fetters today and embrace your destiny!

Author's Note

Another hindi poem! Well, I love those creatures with wings!

Tried my best to translate it into english, while being true to its essence and without altering much.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

simply beautiful ..reminds me of Kahlil Gibran's writings ... symbiotic relationships of all things with selfless love the encompassing mix ... love the sky's cloak .. the bird able to fly and be embraced ..wonderful writing for me this morning... thanks for sharing!
E.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your insights, E!

[Salvatore]

Very beautiful! An incitement to never stop trying to reach what we want.
Compliments!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Salvatore. Glad you liked it!

[Ayush Mishra]

I love to read you, this is also beautifully written by you..keep it up !

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Ayush.
Glad you like my work!

[Manu]

I loved this write. The sky and the birds :- it is one of my favorite themes.
My favorite lines:
Tere liye to tadapta, tarasta tha vo bhi upar,
Tere saye ko pane ki chahat to use bhi thi,
Vo os ki boonde the uske aasu, rota tha vo bhi har pal
English translation is equally good...but Hindi one stole my heart :-)
Maza aa gaya padh ke....write more of Hindi poems...I really love reading those.
Keep it up :-)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much, Manasvini! Writing in one's first language is overtly satisfying.
Glad you liked it!

[sinNsincerity]

My mind's arms are so stretched out after reading this.
The English translation was heavenly Jyoti!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh thank you! I was very sceptical of the translation, for I myself love original pieces. Very glad you liked it! :)

[Gaurav Bhattacharya]

I enjoy these hindi poems! this one is very nice. i could imagine the bird attempting to fly. Great job. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! It's refreshingly fun to write in your own language, once in a while!

[ImRan kabir]

Oh my best writer friend , really you won my heart.
If time ll help me then i would like meet you surely.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, friend. That's a great compliment!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WaaH!!!
kamaal ki kavita.......
behad pasand aayi.....
:)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Dhanyavad! Bus ek chota sa prayas he! Kushi he ki apko pasand ayi!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love the image that you chose to go with your poem and am only sorry that I can't appreciate the poetry as written originally in Hindi. There's always something lost in translation, particularly the emotion. The English translation, however, is enough to know beauty in graceful wings. Like birds spreading wing across the sky, we spread our words upon the page, embracing our destiny. This is really beautiful.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for your kind visit.

[Randhir kaur]

Waoo...U hve a great talent dear..Quite impressed by both d written versions..

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind visit.

[Randhir kaur]

Mention not dear..keep going..