Hum the (Hindi Poem)

Hum the (Hindi poem)

Kehne ko to me bhi thi, vo bhi tha
Dono ki apni duniya bhi thi
Magar kuch khwab hakikat ke saye me jhulaste reh gaye
Aur hum jahan the vahi adhure reh gaye
Kehne ko to me bhi thi, vo bhi tha

***************************

English Translation:

 

We lived

To say, I lived and he did, as well

we both dwelled in our own worlds

But some dreams just scorched in the shadows of reality

And we stayed where we were in the incompleteness

To say, I lived and he did, as well

Author's Note

My first attempt at Hindi poetry.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Relic]

Sort of sad not to be complete with someone but just living/existing. I've never read a Hindi poem before so your's is the first. Nice poem.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for the kind review.

[ImRan kabir]

तेरी क�™म की स्याही का अपना एक रंग है
अ�™्फाज जुबां पढ़ती है मगर उड़ता मेरे दि�™ का रंग है ....

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Great deep write!

[PoeticChico]

what a wonderful piece!
Great Job!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[An owl on the moon]

So beautifully done in the wondrous Hindi, with the English echoes. There is a bittersweet aching in your words, the desire in the endless distance. Lives that wander often connect in threads, yet are never quite woven into a single garment. Reminded me of the movie "In the Mood for Love" by Wong Kar-wai.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

So glad hear from you Craig and such kind words.
Will look for that movie. Thank you for the insightful review :)

[An owl on the moon]

Always so good to read your thoughts, Jyoti. And only watch the movie if you feel like swimming in sadness.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for warning about it.

[An owl on the moon]

Anything for a friend. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

......:)...:)

[Saddam]

Seems, real victim of reality.
Kehne ko to bahut kuch haui par kahe to kaise aur kisase.
You are just best in it too.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind comment.

[sarik]

no criticism !!

your words is either to be praised or to fall in love Ms Jyoti...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[sarik]

only Thank you !!

I was expecting something more

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I appreciate your comment, thank you very much.

[sarik]

hehee

should I continue your poem ..

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Do as you please, it's a free country.

[sarik]

Well, you are right ,,

absolutely right but then also I require your permission as for me I am interrupting your words or your world..

so I think it is needed mam

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

consider it granted.
good day.

[sarik]

ek aas th dil me, gale lg jao uske

kehna ko to hum paas bhi th ;

read more
ek aas th dil me, gale lg jao uske

kehna ko to hum paas bhi th ;

or kuch ajnabi sa kiya isara aap ne

or hum jaha th , vahi adhure reh gaye...

[Avinash]

This makes memories of heartbreak look beautiful in both languages.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Avinash for your kind review.

[Valentine]

So many people are out there dwelling in their own world. Some would make excellent friends...perhaps even a excellent husband and father...if we only have the chance to meet them. Valentine

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for visiting Valentine.

[Robert]

Well you did it well Jyoti, keep it up and trying new writing.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Surely I will. Thank you for visiting.

[Emily]

Great poem!
Well done!
I like the meaning of it!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Emily!