Her Feat

Breathtaking suspense..

Tick-tock, Tick-tock

The clock is ticking

Knock-knock, knock-knock

He is outside my door

Lub-dub, lub-dub,

I hear my heart pounding

Whoosh-whoosh, whoosh-whoosh,

The wind keeps gushing

Thump-thump, thump-thump

The door is about to break

Woo-woo, woo-woo,

The police are coming

Rat-a-tat! Rat-a-tat!

The bullets pierced through me

Bang-bang, bang-bang

My husband still cries at the door

Wuh-uh, ah-uh, wuh-uh

Goodbye my love, I have to go.

Author's Note

Tried something new!
Hope you enjoy this as much as I had while writing it!
Review, rate and share.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Adam Adams]

review: lol... not sure if that was serious post, but i kinda had fun with this write. interesting. it's a mood-refreshing piece of art you dripped down in words. liked it!

rate: 99.9%
ps. as always you know, half % is consumed into... "review". xoxo lol

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you. It was a fun write.

[Adam Adams]

also, you don't ev'n negotiate to put some "Quality" of your thoughts either in your "fun" words. and that's the thing your stuffs kinda magnetize my heart so dramatically. intriguing. good by me. so what's your inspiration?

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Well, I guess, at that time i jus wanted to try something new. So onomatopoeia, i chose.

[Adam Adams]

onomatopoeia? lovely word. you seem to... enjoy playing with words. nice. have at it.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Onomatopoeia is to imitate the natural sounds of a thing. It creates a sound effect that mimics the thing described.

[Adam Adams]

i kinda very well know the meaning of that word. i just liked how cleverly and perfectly you used that proper word at the right time. however, thanks, ma`am... for shedding much lights on the word. highly appreciated. xoxo

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are heartily welcomed. Thank you for your visit.

[Vinay]

I'm sure you must be singing this loud when you wrote it!! Nice!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh yeah! Thank you!

[Gaurav Bhattacharya]

scary. Why did she do it I wonder. I guess her heart will never "lub dub" again. (lub dub sounds a bit unusual for a heart beat I think??) Overall though, great poem. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Well I guess its very close to how the heartbeat sounds.
Thanks for the kind review.

[Ellen Kolman]

Exciting poem and a refreshing change to the norm...keep writing you are very creative...BRAVO

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! Glad you liked it!

[Willard Wells]

Must have been a great surprise to see the police come and kill his love for whatever they thought she had done. A secret life, a spy perhaps or just a mistake of picking the wrong door. Well Done.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Well this is the interpretation so many concluded this piece with.
But the real picture that inspired the piece was the woman committing suicide and her husband knowing her intentions tries to stop her... But maybe I was not so clear.

Thank you for your insights, Mr. Wells. And wish you a belated Happy New year!

[Willard Wells]

Suicide by police is now how it sounds with what you said.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Well the husband actually called to police to stop her.

[Willard Wells]

But they shot her?? Maybe he should not have called them. LOL

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

She shot herself. :)

[Deepak Belbase]

tring! tring! tring! tring!
this piece, like what we used to sing :-p
i like the rhythm as well as your creativity

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Deepak! I really enjoyed penning it as well.

[Deepak Belbase]

it's my pleasure to make sure if I've not left a wonderful thing...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

:) thank you.

[Deepak Belbase]

ur welcome ;-)

[Perkele.7885]

I read this poem again today. I like it, more so now, after you explained your motive and plot drive to me. I was seeing things from a different perspective than you, as you were when you were writing it.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you sir. I am glad you were able to see it from my perspective now.

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Something new for sure... unique...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you. :)

[Gaurav]

Superb articulation of thoughts. Sometimes trying new things open up a world of new possibilities. Thanks for sharing :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the kind words.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

seems like a horror movie scene, where the maniac killer got his first victim, with everyone else arriving too late. in this case you're the victim... xD fun read.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

A nice perspective, Danny! But the real scenerio that I was trying to depict was a woman committing suicide. Despite her husband's efforts to save her, she still manages to shoot herself. Now try this :)
Thank you for the read. Glad u had fun!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

you're welcome :)