Treachery

The earth shivered with dread and despair 

For it can do nothing but witness the treachery 

Of the dark loathing and ravening night 

When her body was ruthlessly dragged to the graveyard!

Author's Note

New piece.
Read, review and rate.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[DirectTangent]

Wow.
It speaks to me of an evil befalling an innocence. It feels abrupt, callous, physical, brutal.
"Dark, loathing, ravening night" - vivid imagery.
The brevity of your piece leaves me as the reader in a sudden state of shock, as if I just witnessed an unspeakable horror from which I permanently will be contaminated and from which I will have no hope of recovering.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much! This is the best compliment this poem has been adorned with, till now.
Glad it can have such an effect!

[Avinash]

The imagery is quite striking and words make a permanent mark on your psyche. That is definitely a good piece of writing which can fire your imagination.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much for giving it a read.

[Stan Lee]

Wow... It is scary and very powerful. Sounds almost like historical fiction or a Shakespearean extract. It's not exactly iambic pentameter but it has a very strong rhythm. I enjoyed this a lot! :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I am truely humbled. Thank you so much.

[Hakim]

So short but so powerful. If you can do that with four lines what could you do with a page ;)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, means a lot!

[Amy R]

i enjoyed this,
very well inked!
thanks for sharing..

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[Ed Hart]

there's no such thing as 'just words'

[dexterous sam]

the earth is seeing it's own end by their own eyes...still can't do anything..(summarized) good work @ jyoti

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[FaeryQueen]

this poem is so real!!!!!!!!!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[....................]

the world witnesses much that it does not have control over...there is a deep sense of helplessness in your words, Jyoti...it leaves the reader to fill in the details...well-done

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the kind review, Thomas.

[....................]

It was my pleasure!

[Perkele.7885]

the lines that you have written
leave many unanswered queries
as to what is happening or has
has happened already, to bring
us, your readers, to this point.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I would like to leave it to the readers, they can imagine it as a end or a disastrous beginning..read moreI would like to leave it to the readers, they can imagine it as a end or a disastrous beginning..

[Perkele.7885]

You are giving our readers an incredible amount of latitude in which to travel from your your original4 lines. And unfortunately for you and and from my perspective as well (as, I am the one who would like to to know) where they went with these 4 lines.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Okay well then let me add a little background. How about she was abducted, raped or looted n murdered in the silent night with none to help. Or she was out on her routine but got a wrong customer or maybe she was out of her long buried grave and someone took the responsibility to shun her into the right world.
What do you say?

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

My pleasure.
Which one did you find the most fitting?

[Perkele.7885]

Actually, none of them, I was being facetious. I was attempting to make a point and failing at it miserably I am going to put an end to this point and go to sleep where some sleep will exercise the sheep in the pen.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Lol. Good night.

[Zahra]

A strong write up. Can prompt many stories. Well penned.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Zahra!