The Proposal

The Proposal

The first time I saw you,

You were waiting for someone

Fidgeting your scarf, hair undone

Tapping the foot, really restless

Who was bringing that out of you?

I wanted to know then.

 

A strong wind blew and took my breath away

When your dazzling hair, parted from your face,

The dove like eyes, filled me with awe

And the rose petal lips, that drew in the air

Added to the mesmerizing scene, unfolding there

 

You clutched your scarf to hold it with you

Then tucked your bangs, sighing anew

You kept looking at the watch for who knows what

But each time you did that, my heart skipped a bit

For the inevitable fear that you will fade away with it

 

Just when the anxiety was about to swallow you whole,

The clouds gathered up in the sky and started to pour

I don’t know even now, what it was that day

That was bringing that out of you, letting you sway

Because it lost its significance, when I saw what happened next

 

For me, monsoon was just another season back then

But when it drenched you, it became magical at once

The little droplets made you shimmer in the light

And I saw a charming goddess standing with might

Some spell had bound me there, holding me in trance of purest sight

 

Your furrowed brows smoothed back slowly

Taking the frown and anxiety with it, briskly

Lips twitching and eyes sparkling

You transformed into a giddy child

Who would love to dance in the rain and see the rainbow in the sky

 

That was the moment, I remember now

When I decided to know you, anyhow

You captured and reined my heart from then on

What I would have done in my life, if we haven’t met

Nothing in the world could have instigated the wonders of fate

 

Twenty seven monsoons have passed since that day

I can still glimpse the child in you, happy and gay

Time and age has altered almost nothing in you

Your elegance and charm still ruffle the hues

I have gratefully lived these years under your warmth and grace.

 

All I wish is your soothing presence during my last breathe

For you are the salvation my soul will always seek

So today I dare to ask you a question of life and death

After being my only interest everyday and year on year

Will you walk down the aisle to be my wife, yet again?

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Tried to write something from a different perspective.
This is the result of pure imagination on a rainy day.
Please read, review and rate.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Sage]

You know what? The whole poem had me holding my breath, waiting for the next line. In the end, it took my breath away. As a guy let me tell you, you've done something that every guy wishes to convey but fails to do so. The verses are mesmerizing and uniquely flavoured. I love your flow of words.
Keep the words flowing! :D

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind words! Glad it can had that kinda effect.

[Salvatore]

Hi Jyoti,
I don't know how it happened but you drove me into some beautiful reminders of my youth.
Thank you.
Nice poem.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

This is the best compliment for any story teller.
Thank you very much for your kind words!

[Rajat malik]

Didn't really wasted my time while reading it. Infact I enjoyed it.......
You write very Cutely.....loved it

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your review! I appreciate your stopping by.

[aj sesinyi]

My time wouldnt be wasted if i spend hours reading this poem over and over and over again.from the first line a perfect image gets painted in my head,this is the proposal of the year.
"When your dazzling hair, parted from your face,
The dove like eyes, filled me with awe
And the rose petal lips, that drew in the air
Added to the mesmerizing scene, unfolding there
You clutched your scarf to hold it with you
Then tucked your bangs, sighing anew
You kept looking at the watch for who knows what
But each time you did that, my heart skipped a bit
For the inevitable fear that you will fade away with it".
I loved these lines a lot,very romantic,great work dear poet..keep it up

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for your kind review. Its very much appreciated.

[Mosunmola Adeniyi]

This really is a poem to be viewed over and over again. The vibes in it set the mood in place, well yes! It is a beautiful one, its creativity adorns it with the high flavour it truly deserves. Keep it up dear. I love it.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much, for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment.

[Sudeep Mishra]

Are you really a girl!! I mean no offence, but how can you!!! I wonder.
While reading, my imaginations were going parallel along with narration and wows were getting created with every paras and stops. Lovely piece.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

My first try with different perspective! Glad if it managed to have that kinda effect. Thank you for the wonderful review.

[Francis Orion]

Excellent poem. I love how you wrote from another perspective, you nailed that challenge. Honestly, I forgot who's poem I was reading because I caught up in the sweet story of love that it told. Bravo!!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[Echoes of Eros]

Rain breathes such magical enchantments through you it seems. These words of soul and life carry us over time, into moments lost and moments aroused in living love to sweet depths of the soul; this everlasting love, from age to countless age. May we all strive to live in this dreamish place. xo

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[Echoes of Eros]

You made it my pleasure. xo

[Shivalik Kalsotra]

wonderful writing....true emotions attached with every word and the way it is expressed heart touching...enjoyed it great work...keep it up

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the kind review.

[Emily]

Great poem!!
Keep on writing!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[Eliot Knight]

I loved it!! Love at first sight with a happy ending, beautiful, somebody make a movie out of this so I can ball my eyes out.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Ha! Thank you so much! Glad you liked it!