The Proposal

The Proposal

The first time I saw you,

You were waiting for someone

Fidgeting your scarf, hair undone

Tapping the foot, really restless

Who was bringing that out of you?

I wanted to know then.

 

A strong wind blew and took my breath away

When your dazzling hair, parted from your face,

The dove like eyes, filled me with awe

And the rose petal lips, that drew in the air

Added to the mesmerizing scene, unfolding there

 

You clutched your scarf to hold it with you

Then tucked your bangs, sighing anew

You kept looking at the watch for who knows what

But each time you did that, my heart skipped a bit

For the inevitable fear that you will fade away with it

 

Just when the anxiety was about to swallow you whole,

The clouds gathered up in the sky and started to pour

I don’t know even now, what it was that day

That was bringing that out of you, letting you sway

Because it lost its significance, when I saw what happened next

 

For me, monsoon was just another season back then

But when it drenched you, it became magical at once

The little droplets made you shimmer in the light

And I saw a charming goddess standing with might

Some spell had bound me there, holding me in trance of purest sight

 

Your furrowed brows smoothed back slowly

Taking the frown and anxiety with it, briskly

Lips twitching and eyes sparkling

You transformed into a giddy child

Who would love to dance in the rain and see the rainbow in the sky

 

That was the moment, I remember now

When I decided to know you, anyhow

You captured and reined my heart from then on

What I would have done in my life, if we haven’t met

Nothing in the world could have instigated the wonders of fate

 

Twenty seven monsoons have passed since that day

I can still glimpse the child in you, happy and gay

Time and age has altered almost nothing in you

Your elegance and charm still ruffle the hues

I have gratefully lived these years under your warmth and grace.

 

All I wish is your soothing presence during my last breathe

For you are the salvation my soul will always seek

So today I dare to ask you a question of life and death

After being my only interest everyday and year on year

Will you walk down the aisle to be my wife, yet again?

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Tried to write something from a different perspective.
This is the result of pure imagination on a rainy day.
Please read, review and rate.
Constructive criticism is expected.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Sage]

You know what? The whole poem had me holding my breath, waiting for the next line. In the end, it took my breath away. As a guy let me tell you, you've done something that every guy wishes to convey but fails to do so. The verses are mesmerizing and uniquely flavoured. I love your flow of words.
Keep the words flowing! :D

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind words! Glad it can had that kinda effect.

[Abhishek Asthana]

Gorgeously expressed... could it be so easy for a girl to write content in such an intense way which even a guy can never match... awesome work... keep doing !!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much Abhishek. It was a hearty effort and wild imagination.

[Ayush Mishra]

just love it...seriously awesome !

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Adam Adams]

'the proposal' be pre se a catchy clepe being so baptized with the charisma of love-extreme. kinda very bewitching imagination you've got... & i like how fluently you renderin' the goblet of your miss glibert's heart so fair & finely into suchness of words. utterly way captivating, of course, as always, i must say.

ps. 1
glad to see you getting your hands more creative at writing by means of... exploring yourself .. ev'n putting yourself in diff. shoes.

ps. 2
quite catchy it is to read something different than usual esp. to your potential readers. worth reading post. nicely imaginative. & well structured in words. great job, Jyoti.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Adams for your kind words!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Nicely written. The narrator feels so much love after a life of wedded bliss that he hopes to have her in the other life as well. The way you have described his first glimpse and the feelings that went through his mind is commendable.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Shabeeh! I was jus writing about the guy in my fantasy.

[Teja]

As a guy i have been impressed with your story . The raw emotions and feelings are good

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you. I tried to figure out how a guy would feel.

[Nisreen]

Oh this is beyond stunning
I have read so much on this website
And I felt nothing the way I felt this write

Just gorgeous

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much Curiosity for your warm review. :D

[thetish]

How wonderful to create a story within of the first meeting and how meaningful it was. Beautiful.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you thetish. It's a fantasy.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I'm speechless! Wow, i'm in awe of your description, even at its length. Every line held me tight and drew me deeper into the story, and the last line left me with a jaw dropped smile! Amazing! Tyfs

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much Cyprian! It is great to have your warm review. :D

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome!

[Jerry Martin]

"Twenty seven monsoons have passed since that day" the trance that this line brought was what I felt the real plot.. I personally adored the plot.. Kudos miss!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your kind review. It is much appreciated.