Playing at Spies

A collaboration with a splendid poet, Mr. Rajaniemi..!

Playing At Spies

by Raj Rajaniemi 

&

Jyoti, Writer's Cafe Poets

People never seem to change
all that much
but, she had.
It seems that her face had been rearranged
somewhat.
I felt like, that I had been had.
There were scars, of love and war.
An array of veracity!
The light on her face beckoned me.
An enigma to explore and behold.
There was a brimming audacity.

I asked myself. " What is she playing at"?
I approached her, looked right straight into her pale blues.
Been awhile, not that you'd notice by your smile!
She grinned at me!
"Why the plastic face", I asked?
She said, " The Company thinks that I am dead"
Not dead for the living perhaps, but invisible to the world!
I sit in the shadows now, the sun is harsh on the face!
Life has been nothing but, a lie.
Only this facade can blend me in and shun the pain.

Don't worry! I'll cover your tracks at the company!
I owe you for many good actions in many a far flung
piece of dung, dirt Republic. Disappear again! I never saw you.
I turned. And when I looked back, she was gone.

Author's Note

Life changes people!
Words fade but their echoes remain!

My first collaborative writing experience with Mr. Raj Rajaniemi..! (http://www.writerscafe.org/perkele7885)
It was amazing working with him!

Let me know what you think!
Please read, review and rate.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good effort of two talented Poets.
"There were scars, of love and war.
An array of veracity!
The light on her face beckoned me.
An enigma to explore and behold.
There was a brimming audacity."
The above lines were my favorite. They were honest and direct. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much, for your kind review.

[Coyote Poetry]

My pleasure and you are welcome.

[Einstein Noodle]

i like the title a lot ..its perfect for your poem, i think. as i read i took it more as a chance meeting of lovers who went through the "games" of pretending and being "Spies" ... it takes a turn that brings in the "company", which i didn't understand at first, and now they are real spies ... "dung dirt Republic" is supper graphic .. i feel the disgust of even visiting there (where ever it is;) i can tell, you continue to work on your command of English and i am shamed of myself as that is my only language ... :} so well done says i! i think it is a pretty smooth collab
E.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh E! So good to see you! Mr. Rajaneimi did the main plotting, I jus tagged along.
Glad you liked it!

[Gaurav Bhattacharya]

Intriguing ending. I wonder where she went. Anyhow this was a great poem. Congrats to you and Raj. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! Her end was as mesmerizingly tragic as her very being.. Of course, was Mr. Rajaniemi's idea. He started n I added to it and then after a few back and forth he ended the piece with a perfect stroke.

[Eliot Knight]

To be completely honest, I don't exactly follow it too well. The overall message is understood but broken down, the poem falls short. The punctuation marks are off unless that was intended, for what reason, I don't understand. The first stanza is definitely great and beautifully written, the second isn't up to par and the third is just crude in comparison. It's as though I'm watching it fall apart. I apologize for the brutal review but having read all your work so far, I have higher expectations perhaps. This is a collaboration so I can understand.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

The idea maybe is vague or maybe the way, I presented my part in this piece, considering English is not my first language, it might have happened that I actually misunderstood the idea, myself. Mr. Rajaneimi, is an amazing poet and too well equipped with this art. I will try better next time.
Thank you very much for the honest review, I really appreciate it. :)

[Eliot Knight]

I have read many of your pieces, may I ask what your contributions were in this one? Your style is very different as far as I know, so I'm just curious. I'm sure Mr. Rajaneimi is a great writer but don't sell yourself short.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

My words in the first stanza are 'there were scars....brimming audacity' and in second stanza again from 'not dead for the living...shun the pain'
Maybe I was trying to justify this intriguing girl, I guess.

[Eliot Knight]

As I expected, no offence to Mr. Raj Rajaniemi but I believe you should have led the poem. Those are the best parts of it, and I don't mean to flatter, it is only my humble opinion.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you. You are very kind.

[Valentine]

Scars of love and war...this reads more like the start of a great book that I would want to read. Nice..Valentine

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much.
This line had come straight out of my heart.

[Chirag Kumar]

When two great poets come together, they are bound to create a masterpiece, like this one. Flawless.!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! :)

[Tks]

Life does change people, Jyoti, and your final two stanzas were lovely. I didn't understand the first stanza intitially, but soon enough, I got the gist of your writing. I enjoy your writing, you have a penchant for eloquently putting your words across!
Keep the read requests coming!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the kind review.

[StimulateyourCreativity]

Really nice job! There echoes definitely remain

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Valentine]

Dual write,,,lots of phoney people .. Valentine

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for the commentary.

[Stan Lee]

Amazing. Would you like to write a poem with me one day? :) I loved it. Great story and rhyming.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

That would be amazing!
We will surely write, together!
Thank you so much for your review. :)