The Breeze

She shivered with envy

when the breeze touched his naked skin..

He got Goosebumps

seeing her quiver in the rain.

Author's Note

Thank you for your time!

Reviews

[FaeryQueen]

that's great, good write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Amy R]

nicely written,
well done!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[....................]

she wanted to be that breeze and he wanted to be that rain... such a romantically creative piece...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[....................]

you are welcome :)

[Kay]

I like this, because it's odd--in a good way! I love unconventional writing and I like to play around with style, too. Whether it was intentional or not, you did that. It's delicate and emotional and raw. I just love the way this poem reads, and the sensitivity and intimacy; the way these two people effect each other is so beautiful. Well done! :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[Nahian Bin Asadullah]

Sounds somewhat like a Haiku!
Is it one though?
By the way, what are you doing here? You really should consider getting published!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I don't know if this is qualified as a Haiku.
And thank you so much, I just try. Glad you liked it.

[Nahian Bin Asadullah]

My pleasure.

[Emily]

Very nice poem!
Keep it up!!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Emily!

[Kshitij Srivastava]

You got me guessing about the scene, with your perfect use of words in the few lines. Glad that I read it. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I am glad that you liked it! Thank you! :)

[Kshitij Srivastava]

You are welcome. :)

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

quivering frame, quiver in vain, i like the way these words fell on the page. goodie gumdrops

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I am glad you liked it! Thank you!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Well, a this is interestin. What happens next? yup, got the readers interest. Nicely done. 100 points.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Any time :)

[Stan Lee]

I felt the breeze - it was very cold. You've set an interesting scene in a few words here. Well done. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you! Means a lot! :)