Thirst

Something told me to wait,

But the impatience within swirled and paced.

I have started myself to hate

For this brought the worst out of me.

The longing inside craved and starved,

Nothing ever satisfying its hunger.

It rained and poured like never before

But the THIRST just grew more and more..

Author's Note

It just came out as mindless doodling. Thought of sharing. Let me know how you found it..!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the honest tone and how you described the thirst and hunger.
"It rained and poured like never before
But the THIRST just grew more and more.."
Some folks are never filled or content. Many reasons for. A man who had nothing will work harder than a man who was given all things. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I am glad that you liked it!
Thank you for the review.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Richard🖌]

Brings to mind, "He who thirsts though his well is full, thirsts with a thirst unquenchable."
Aw, pay me no attention, Jyoti … just mindless doodling. ; )

Sometimes, we hunger for, long, ache, and yearn for, that which we aught not, or for that which will not readily relent to our pressing urges of impatient need and desire … and, I've known the frustration of these feelings all too well.

You've said it far better than I could hope to have … I'm thinking you've gained wisdom beyond your years.
Thank you most gratefully, Jyoti, for the moment shared! 〜 Richard

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Life teaches us many things, Richard and it doesn't consider the age.
Glad you found it relatable.
Thank you so much for the kind review. :)

[Richard🖌]

See?
I knew it!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Ha! You did.

[Richard🖌]

···••• : )

[Ghazal]

shortly well expressed...................................... :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[Bear]

This makes one stop and think about ones own inner salvation from all the over indulgence we face in life. I love when a work of literature makes me feel or think long after I have read it, and this poem has and will be doing that for some time. Great job, thanks for inviting me to read it, well worth the drive across writers cafe on the 101 :~)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I am glad, it made you think. Thank you for the kind review!

[....................]

some cravings are insatiable and it never much matters how hard or long it rains, that thirst will only increase...this reminds of of an addiction...nicely-done

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for reading!

[closed]

intriguing poem

i enjoyed it

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[Perkele.7885]

Will the quenching of the THIRST abate the hate that has brought out the worst in you; will you then be satisfied or will you still crave and thirst for more?
A man should be satisfied when his labor has allowed him to attain his goals while meeting the needs of his family

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are right but to answer your question I will have to first find out the source of the thoughts that emerged in the form of words here..
Sometimes you are a third person trying to be compassionate and it was one such moment when this came up..
But I do believe that the social animal in us will never be satisfied, because this is how he was created to be.

[Max]

Reminds of lust. I mean the raw, and powerful, maybe a little chaotic write. Nicely written.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[Max]

You are welcome.

[Stan Lee]

Sounds like an addiction. "I have started myself to hate" To me it felt almost fearful as though the narrator was scared of if/how it would all end. Your mindless doodling sure has a lot of strong emotion attached! Thanks for sharing. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you dear Andrea. Your kind words have filled me with so much of positive energy..! :)

[An owl on the moon]

Your words and emotions flow here like a driving, pounding rain, Jyoti. The rhythm and the music of your thoughts in this time of hunger, this era of craving yet always needing more... what a vibrant glimpse of longing.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Craig.. Your kind words always uplifts me! :)

[hanselwheresgretel?]

Oh its the mindless doodlings that bring out the best ideas sometimes, you'd surprise yourself :) the flow of sentences and emotions is so fluid and united, very natural. love it :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!