Doomsday

End of the world..

That day, the sky mourned and wailed,

for it knew, it was the last time.

One piece of light it yearned and craved,

for it was the last time.

It cried and cried till the tears were dry,

for it was the last time.

Nothing was spared in the storm,

even the dying screams sounded like hymns.

It was the finale the earth had awaited,

for centuries and centuries to come by

Never had it felt so serene in a whirlpool,

where birth was meeting its destined end

Death was not under veils any more,

it stood with integrity and candour.

Never had the silence sounded so loud

The day of Reckoning had finally arrived. 

It was only fair, to end at last,

for it had beared for ages and ages.

To get free from the horrid torments

The mortals had inflicted and laughed.

So for one last time the nature roared

For its mother who was embracing demise.

Nothing can alter the induced fate,

it was the last call and one last time.

Author's Note

Originally composed for a then & there, college level contest with the theme 'EARTH'.
Still a little unsure of its length and abrupt end.
Lemme know what you think..!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the poem. A favorite poem of mine is.
"With a whisper,
with a whisper,
with a whisper,
not with a bang,
Man will vanish from the earth."
I believe nature will survive, man will not. A powerful poem. Made me think tonight.
Coyote

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I am glad that it served its purpose. Thank you for the kind review.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Gaurav Bhattacharya]

powerful and slightly disturbing in a way. great write jyoti!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Einstein Noodle]

i think it is perfect in length and ending .. the repetition stands out for me .. puts a nice wrap at the end ..but most of all i love and am carried away with the attitude of acceptance and inevitable nature of birth and death ..even Mother Nature's ... glad i found this .. it leaves me with good thoughts for the day ..life does turn on a dime as they say ... each one a blessing given
E.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your insights E!
Glad you stopped by! :)

[McBear]

Besides a few simple grammar issues, I think it was very good! When you use commas, you do not use a capital letter of the next word. It is not a period. Example here: "I really liked to swim as a kid, it gave me joy"
Here is the edited idea of your poem I used to show...

That day, the sky mourned and wailed.
For it knew, it was the last time.
One piece of light it yearned and craved,
for it was the last time.

It cried and cried till the tears were dry.
For it was the last time.
Nothing was spared in the storm,
even the dying screams sounded like hymns.

It was the finale the earth had awaited,
for centuries and centuries to come by.
Never had it felt so serene in a whirlpool,
Where birth was meeting its destined end

Death was not under veils any more,
it stood with integrity and candour.
Never had the silence sounded so loud,
the day of Reckoning had finally arrived.

It was only fair, to end at last,
for it had beared for ages and ages.
To get free from the horrid torments,
the mortals had inflicted and laughed.

So for one last time the nature roared,
for its mother who was embracing demise.
Nothing can alter the induced fate,
it was the last call and one last time.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much. This is really helpful.
I have edited the piece, thank you again for visiting.

[McBear]

c: No problem at all! I understand English is not your first language and I love to help those who her new it it c: I applaud you on learning it though :D

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you. I was admitted in an English medium school. So its kind of not an acceptable mistake to let your computer decide and resolve the grammar.

[McBear]

Haha. Yeah. You honestly need a program or something to figure out where you need commas and such. Spell check or whatever honestly, from my experience, only does basic grammar.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Yeah... :p have to see what I can get.

[McBear]

.Okie. :3.

[Insight "MH"]

Wow, this is your best of what I have read. Nice word choice that made a clear visual of that last day of days.

Insight.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for your kind words.

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome.

[Eliot Knight]

The first line "The day, the sky mourned and wailed," Either remove the comma after 'The day the sky' or make it 'That day, the sky' for it to make sense, though I suggest 'That day,'
Check the comma and period placements. The flow is disruptive in certain places. Other than that it's pretty well written.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much for the kind and helpful review. :)

[Willard Wells]

"Even the dying screams sounded like hymn." to 'Even the dying screams sounded like hymns."
"Never did the silence had sounded so loud" to "Never had the silence sounded so loud"
And hopefully then we are called home by out God. Very nicely done. Hope you don't mind my opinions on word choice.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

English not being my 1st language, such suggestions rather corrections are always welcome.
Thank you very much for the helpful review.

[Willard Wells]

I am glad you accept my thoughts and only here to bring a positive message to your work with a little help if wanted. I knew the language issue and expected that was the reason.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you again :)

[Sudeep Mishra]

Without being specific,I liked each and every lines equally. Each word in its perfect place glittering the perfect meaning. Loved to read this and tagging it of one of my fav.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you Sudeep! Glad you liked it.

[Mukul]

Great jyoti
Your preference on unique topic

[Mukul]

Great jyoti
Your preference on unique topic

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you.

[R Smith]

excellent comment on the world today, it may be too late to turn the tide back now, we can only wait and see, you speak truth Jyoti in this very strong poem, bravo :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[R Smith]

you are very welcome my friend :)