The Morning Bird

the struggle for freedom, helplessness and sinking hope...

I am a morning bird locked in a cage,

Left alone to mourn in my rage,

Like a bud I want to bloom,

But the bars hold me in the gloom.

I hear the thundering outside the window,

Terrors rise in me and I start to sow,

Still I want to be out with my mother,

Nothing in the world would then be a bother.

Thence I will be gay and free,

Soaring over the meadow and the sea,

Alas! This dream will never come true,

I will rot here till my last days are due.

The sky is now crying and roaring,

Rueful sun is tardily passing,

Darkness is lurking near to sly,

But I still feel the urge and want to fly.

Stars are veiling their prime shine,

Clock adherently has long past nine,

The darkness capers and fights,

Bars hold me and I can’t take flight.

I beat my wings on the iron bars,

Tethered in this place with unseen mar,

I want to be free and out with my clan,

But the vantage always fails my plan.

Heaving and weeping all I pray,

That god takes me under thy ray,

Perhaps, then I will have liberty,

To glide and fly till eternity!

Author's Note

My first attempt in poetry..
I saw a pet parrot at a friends place living in cage.. And suddenly the similarity of the condition of our competitive lives stuck me... So I ended up with this..!
Honest review will greatly help..! Thank you for your time..!

Reviews

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
this is beautiful...........
life is not a bowl of candy.......we all eventually discover that truth.........
love and close ones..........family.........does ease our pain........make it all worth it.....
courage and self confidence...........making it a goal to move forward.........keeps us going.......till its all good in the end.........
faith in god keeps us disciplined........

very well written......
i really liked it!!!
:)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

True..!
I am glad that you liked it Mr. Prabhat.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome Ms Jyoti.............. :) :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

responding on the read request.........this is still awesome!!! :) :)

[Perkele.7885]

For your first time you told your story well.
For your first time!
I liked that you broke the poem down into equal stanzas. I see that this was done to accommodate the rhyming prose. It was a good attempt at the rhyme.
Poetry does not require a rhyme!
I liked your poem but, I did not like your grammar. Poetry often does not follow all the rules of English grammar but, there are some that help dictate or help when someone is reading your poem (punctuation marks) are quite important and that they are placed wisely. Please work on this.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Sure thing. I will work on it.
Thank you for your time and the encouraging review.

[Nahian Bin Asadullah]

Simply wow!
I'm in a loss for words here. The way you have depicted the scene simply blew me away. There's a bit of religion there too!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much, Nahian. I am glad you liked my work.
And as of being religious, I don't know about that but I am definitely spiritual. So this might come out in my writes. Thank you again.

[Nahian Bin Asadullah]

You're most welcome :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This sums up how a bird would feel locked up in a cage for sure.
Its like you completely put yourself in the birds shoes... well not shoes as birds don't have shoes but you know what i mean haha.
My boyfriends dad has a wild bird in a cage. I hate it its not right its sad. This poem reminded me of that bird. This is a beautiful tribute to birds. I cant believe how cleaver you are to think of a whole poem about how a bird feels in a cage. Brilliant piece. You really are so talented :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Awwe thank you so much!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your most welcome :)

[Viv Wade]

So beautifully written, and so sad! I really felt for that poor bird, pining for freedom. Thanks for sharing this!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much!

[Stan Lee]

Your first attempt at poetry - That was wonderful! You've used amazing imagery and I could really see this bird and feel it's anguish in my minds-eye. Very well done Jyoti. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you so much! :)

[Parul Sharma]

I really loved it ! Thanks for sharing it..It tells the truth about freedom..Some people have to struggle to get freedom..

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Yes, a sad truth of life. Thank you for the kind review.

[Parul Sharma]

You are so welcome :) Keep sharing

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

It has substance, direction, and an idea of structure. Parrot inpsired? Pretty cool.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[sarik]

thts beautiful !!

love morning bird very much....

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Nicely done :) the rhyme scheme is very nice. Imagery awesome. Nice flow. So, 100 points :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you!

[Kajal Sharma]

beautiful and good to know what inspired you...well done!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Kajal..!