swallowed by sorrow

*-Is there a way out of this ocean?-*

This ocean seems to engulf my emotions, my grip on living. I continuously try to swim to shore only to swept back out to dark abyss of the ocean, could I just give up? I mean im falling deeper and deeper into this dark void, with no light shining down, so whats there to fight for? you keep telling me to fight for myself, but im losing sight on it all...I just want to let go and fall to ocean floor, can I just please drop to the bottom and lose it all? No, you just keep telling me to keep fighting and I keep refusing. all I can ask myself is "why should I fight?" and I end up slipping further away, down into the welcoming dark abyss of the ocean bottom. This ocean is filling higher and higher above me, im losing it all, im on the brink of giving up...the ocean floor is in sight and you say you can save me? I warn you "please leave before you drown yourself as well...it is not worth risking yourself, am I really worth risking yourself for?"

*-I want to fight, I really do..but..im not sure whats waiting for me at shore line. Is it worth rising up to?-*

I can feel myself starting to build the courage, but its very shallow and easy to be lost. I'm trying, I really am...I try swimming back up to the surface, but it seems im too far down to resurface. Now I see these three hands reaching down to me, I grab onto the first hand I can reach. As I reach the surface, I've come to realize there's more than one face greeting me, two with a smile, and one with a deep concerned frown. I can see in all of their eyes they did not want this to have happened, but it did and now im saying my apologies, only to be greeted back with "There's no need to be sorry..." All i can do at this point is fall to the floor of the boat and weep, but knowing the presence of these three people is whats putting this smile on my face while I lay there weeping. Only now I just have to keep this courage alive.

*-Keeping this courage going, is it possible?-*

...In Progress...