Insomnia

I close my eyes
To dreams I partake
But I fall from my sky
I am awake

I cannot pass
My insomnia shake
My mental harass
I am awake

Memories flood
Like a thinking quake
Thicker than blood
I am awake

Bodily sweat
With my pain and ache
Stalking silhouette
I am awake

In my heart death
This life is lived fake
I feel the cold breath
I am awake

I plunge dagger
All I've lost, I take
But in sleep I’m a bragger
Never awake

Author's Note

This i am dedicating to Ms.Emily Paige due to her trouble with sleep =)

Reviews

[Steph]

This is really good, very relatable to many people. I really like the repition in the last line of each stanze and the rhyme scheme is good in this one too.

[.ronald.039.]

I enjoyed this a lot. Not being able to sleep is a sentiment I can certainly relate to. The last two lines are real good, man. "But in sleep I'm a bragger/Never awake." I've checked out some of your other stuff, too. You're a good poet. Keep it up.

[*Always be Me:)*]

This is pretty. I like it. Good Job. :)

[Amy Bumpas]

Nice flow, and in my past I use to have trouble sleeping, so
I can relate to these words. There is desperation here, as
well as determination.

[Alexis Raine]

I like this one. Easy for writers to relate too. I think there are a few places where formatting or word choice could be changed to more variety, but I think the repetition works with message of the poem.

[alesuriko]

Not a bad poem, there are a few places where the wording and transitions are a little awkward to read in regards to rhythm and flow. The "stalking silhouette" line is one of them, it just doesn't seem to fit or have any sort of connection to the line before and the "I am awake" comes too abruptly in that stanza. I also didn't like the last stanza, it felt weird to read and the flow was off. Insomnia is something a lot of people can relate to though and you're pretty good at capturing things that keep most people awake and the symptoms of insomnia.

[J.Black]

Oh geez, I can relate to this as well. But sometimes I need to thank it because it helps me collect my thoughts while I'm lying there for hours on end. I wrote some of my stuff during 2am-6am! Ha!

[Fallacy Pharmacy]

Absolutely outstanding, I can so relate to this poem.

Insomnia is such a beautiful thing. After a few days you start hallucinating. The walls start reaching out and shadows dart around. Your whole point of view becomes twisted. It's a curse and a blessing.

[Emily Paige]

Awww thank you it's a great poem.