The last estate

From far away
The people come
Wanting water
Wanting rum

In the fountain
They do see
A billion dollars
Glittering

The children stroll
Across the walk
At the table
Fathers talk

Happy glances
From mom to mom
In the garden
Life is calm

Piercing sounds
In the ears
Newborn screams
Enticing fear

Blinding light
Cannot see
The mushroom cloud
Takes a tree

Weathered wind
Knocks kids down
Earth is breaking
All around

Death smoke
Fills the lungs
It’s the very thing
They ran away from

Hell in a form
Of light
It vaporized
The estate with night
 
On the walls
Their shadows stained
From far away
The people came
Carrying along
The atom rain

Reviews

[Ecnelis]

The subtle shift from a glamours afternoon in the garden to the chaos is so wonderfully done that it seemed seamless to me.

Your rhyming has a wonderful rhyme and the words you choose are wonderfully woven together to create a really vivid picture.

The last stanza would have to be my favorite the repetition from the first stanza with the twist is so fantastic and really pulls the whole thing together.

On a less glowing note, I feel the 2nd to last stanza breaks the rhythm you had going throughout the whole piece but it really isn't a big thing. I like your poetry, and I'm really not a poetry person.

[Adarsh]

This is what I 'd call a poetry that is knocks-you-off type!
I simply love the way you express your thoughts succinctly.
Your poems are, to give it a term - Succinctly Elaborate! :)

[NinjaPi]

Wow! That is powerful poetry. This is an amazing description (for lack of better word) of the heart and soul of the peole during that attack form long ago. You have such great imagery in this poem and with it very powerful feeling. You have a great talent.