Corridor 1

A vulnerable man finds himself in a waking nightmare.

My eyes are open, but I don’t see anything. It’s all just cold, empty darkness. I began to feel around. All I registered was the floor. I couldn’t get to any walls, nor any type of defining object. I began to close and open my eyes a couple of times. No use at all. I tried my best to try and remember the last thing that happened to me. I closed my eyes.
Let’s see. I was in my bedroom, on the computer. I believe I was….was I watching pornography? Yeah, I think I was. Oh, I had my kettle on the stove as well. I even remember the sound I heard it making. The sound a kettle usually makes, the whole whistling noise. I remember walking out of my bedroom, and rest of my apartment being desolate as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. Wait a minute, I now recall there not being a kettle on the stove. But I still heard the whistling noise, as if there was. That’s the last thing I remember.
I opened my eyes again. Still in the same situation. I tried to use my other senses to get an idea of the space I was in. Putting my nose against the ground, I inhaled very deeply. The floor smelled like bleach. There was another horrid scent that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. I focused my attention on hearing. Silence. I began to clumsily stand to my feet. The ground was ice cold. I started to walk forward, even though I had no clue where I was headed. My nerves started to pinch at me. My footsteps made no sound at all. I reached my hands out and began to flail them. After ten steps, I still couldn’t feel anything. I stopped.
Am I dead? I’m not dead, am I? Holy s**t, I’m dead. I dropped to the ground, as I put both hands against my forehead. F**k. F**k. F**k. I’m definitely dead, right now. I don’t even remember how I died. I began to slap myself. It definitely felt like I was alive. I checked myself for a pulse. My heart rate was fast, but it was there. I began to grab away at my body, then I realized I was completely naked. That would explain why it was so cold.
A thin line of light manifested on the floor. I began to look around for the source, as the line began to widen. A door. Two doors were sliding open, as the entirety of the room became visible. The room was completely empty, as well as fairly large. That explains why I couldn’t feel any surfaces. With hesitation, I started to walk toward the opening. My nerves turned into anxiety.
A long, bright corridor filled with too many doors to even begin counting. Each door was the same pearl white color as the walls, floors, and ceilings. I’ve never been so confused and afraid in my life.
“Hello?!” I yelled out shakily.
No answer at all. I continued to walk forward, hoping at the end of the corridor would be a nice, big “EXIT” sign. Where the hell did all these doors lead to? My curiosity took over as I pressed myself against the closest door to my left. I began to push harder and harder against it. Nope, it was locked. I looked at the door adjacent from it. I bolted at the door and gave it a good jump kick. A harsh noise.
“F**K!”
I fell to the ground as I felt my leg pulsating. It wasn’t broken, but that definitely wasn’t a good idea. I started to roll over on the floor, trying to find some way to deal with the immense pain I was going through. I could feel my face getting red and sweaty, as I tried my best not to make any more noises.
“COCKSUCKER!”
It was no use at all. I began to hit the floor with a clenched fist. I then tried to breath deeply and slowly, hoping that would help. God damnit it, why am I such an idiot sometimes? I opened my eyes after a few seconds of trying to calm myself down.
Wait a minute, how long has this line been there? An illuminated red line was on the floor. I got up to my feet, leg still in pain. Should I follow the line? I started to walk with the line, trying to speculate where it was leading me to. I followed it with my eyes, and saw the it made a right turn at one of the doors. This must be the door I’m supposed to enter.
After a few grueling steps, I arrived at the door. I put my hand against it, as I started to have thoughts about what will be waiting for me on the other side. Deep down, I really didn’t want to find out. I took a slow breath, and started to walk backwards.
“Alright, this is a stupid f*****g game.”
No answer, I started to look around on the corners of the walls and various spots a camera could be.
“You want me to go through this door, right?”
“..........”
“This f*****g door, right here? That’s what you want, you sick f**k?”
“..........”
“Right. I’m not doing it.”
I looked around some more, but there didn’t seem to be another exit. I could always go back where I came from, but that would get me nowhere. I let out a sigh. I looked at the door, and looked back at the room at the far end of the corridor where I came from.
A different door flung itself open. I looked down at the floor, the line was still directing me to the door right in front of me. Then, there was a low, weird noise coming from down the corridor. Right from the open door. It sounded almost like a dog, but more demented. A black figure then walked out, slowly but eerily.
It looked almost like a human. The entire body seemed to be covered in a black ink, that made is seem like a two-dimensional object. The figure made a much louder, aggressive noise this time. It was staring right at me.
The figure began to walk towards me. It walked just like a human, but with a disorientated upper body. Then it began to shriek. I jumped, a chill trickled down my spine. It began to shuffle, speeding up in pace.
The creature then fell to it’s knees. Leaning forward with it’s hands on the ground. It’s head looked up at me, as it let out one more chilling shriek. Spider-like legs began to pierce through it’s back. It must have caused the creature pain, as the shrieking only grew louder and louder. Blood began to seep from it’s back onto the floor. Eight legs began to gyrate and shake as they forced themselves through the skin of the figure. They were growing out of it.
“.................”
The creature looked directly at me. It looked into me. It saw the immense fear in my eyes. The creature began to smile. The smile began to climb up it’s face. The corners of the smile are  now up to his forehead. I watched in detriment as the smile crept all the way to the back of the monsters head. The top part of its head began to peel back, revealing it’s bottom half. Only possessing three circular rows of teeth and a tentacle-like tongue. It gave me goosebumps to the point of shivers watching as bones-cracked and saliva dripped on the floor. Not to mention the saliva itself was just as ink-black as the rest of its body.
“.................”
The monster began to eerily wiggle, crawling towards me with immense violence in his movements. The poison dripping from its mouth creating a trail as the legs glided along the floor. I began to realize the severity of the situation.
I began to run. Running for my very life. The only thing ahead of me was a solid surface couple feet away. Wonderful. I kept running, thinking of another possible exit point. The red line kept leading me forward into the wall. I looked at the creature behind me. It was inches from me, it’s mouth merely focused on my calves. Ready to gnaw away at flesh.
I looked ahead. The wall was opening as the halves separated. I kept running, the monster still gaining on me. I couldn’t help but produce a mental image of my legs being ravaged to merely chunks of meat. The monster behind me shrieked once more as the sound caused me to jump higher than I have ever jumped before.
I passed the opening, and the doors immediately closed. A loud banging noise resonated in the room, as I lay in darkness once again. Patiently, I stood there. Expecting the walls to open once again. I faint noise in the darkness. Was I hearing s**t, or did something just move? A hand clutches at my wrist and pulls. Two more hands grabs at my face, covering my mouth and eyes, pulling me back. I’m pressed hard against the ground, as I feel a body press itself against my lower abdomen.

Author's Note

One of my earlier concepts, any constructive feedback is welcome.

Reviews

[Cyd]

So it’s after midnight and that always makes me weird but this might be the only time I have to read and comment on this so you are stuck with it. Sorry :p

“My eyes are open, but I don’t see anything. It’s all just cold, empty darkness. I began to feel around.” Switching tense here, you do the same at the end and here, “The corners of the smile are now up to his forehead.”

“I bolted at the door and gave it a good jump kick.” The after midnight me is giggling because I’m picturing a naked man doing this. In the story it’s never actually mentioned that it’s a guy (or did I miss that?), only in the description of the story at the top. I don’t mind this, I would assume that this is a guy regardless and so what if it isn’t. Others might get annoyed.

Some errors here:

“I then tried to breath deeply and slowly” breathe

“God damnit it”

“and saw the it made a right…”

“that made is seem like a…”

“The creature then fell to it’s knees.” There’s a few it’s instead of its in the story.

“I faint noise in the darkness.”

And some thoughts:

“Deep down, I really didn’t want to find out.” Why didn’t he want to find out, if he’s scared about what’s on the other side you need to mention it. It feels first like panic, wanting to get out so this feels a little sudden for me.

“It looked almost like a human.” I don’t know why but this small sentence just stood out for me, I like it. Things mimicking humans are scary. Six little words and I like them a lot.

“The poison dripping from its mouth” I am going to be picky, but how does he know that it’s poison?

I liked the story, perhaps not with the guy just waking up in this nightmare but that could change due to how it ends. Right now I wish how he got there and feel, maybe not cheated but I’m not thrilled at the opening. There are a lot of ways he could have ended up there; it could be something unrealistic such as following a rabbit down a hole.

The story has a nice dreamlike feeling about it, the way I read it this guy isn’t in a reality; he is somewhere else where anything can happen. Perhaps this is one of your stories based on a nightmare?

How long will this story be? I want to know how it ends.

[J. Justice Mendez]

Thanks for all your comments, I really appreciate them. Even if it is midnight Cyd.
I intend to explain that is going on in further stories. All your questions will be answered, I promise. I just wanted a few people to check this out and get a little anxious about what happens next. Although, I don't plan on making the rest too long. I only planned on making two more stories similar to the length of this one.

[J. Justice Mendez]

Sorry, I intend to explain *what* is going on in further stories.