The Mirror Effect: Part I

First poem of my book of life...

A man with no shoes
walks by with a limp.

His arms

covered
in tattoos
and scars

are lethargic
by choice.

The biting
winter sun
delivers respite
from late December
northerlies.

He reeks of Franzia.

Redolent, it shadows
him, haunts
him like the past

he drinks to forget.

His unkempt white beard
is stained yellow
around the mouth
from years of cigarettes
and no-shave Novembers.

He dons a jacket

faded glory

that is two sizes too small
and his pants stay together
like a couple for their kids.

Too proud to join
the Salvation Army
on Christmas Eve,

he finds his bench,

lies down

and survives

one

more

night.

Reviews

[Linzey]

i love how this poem can show the negative side to life and what we all see, but never want to realize. It is an amazing poem in my mind.

[C.]

Good, very good. Only part I didn't like was the bit about "no-shave Novembers"--seemed a lot like slang to me. "He reeks of Franzia" was wonderful.

[MarcoftheBeast]

amazingly great write..great job. i believe i've read the second chapter first ( which is greatly done as well), i loved each details of the scene. ironic. very nice.

[Norma M Sutton]

What a sad beginning.

[Dani]

"and his pants stay together
like a couple for their kids."

What a powerful line. This is a great piece, and I'm interested in seeing what writing follows this.

[Coyote Poetry]

You create a norm story in most cities. A lot of people have given up. The poem create a vision of a man with no hope but death. A powerful poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[zirk]

I really like the imagery.

[C.]

Excellent. "lethargic / by choice" was phenomenal. And the work seems pretty tight, which means it was revised well. Good job, justice. You have some great lines in here that remind me faintly of some slam. Creates a nice blend.

[Budd Black]

This works really well all by itself.

[.]

wow that is a stark reminder of the lost souls within our communites who live just on the knife edge of society - sombre thoughts