The Mirror Effect

The road we travel is obvious to everyone but ourselves.

[Life]

I

A man with no shoes

walks by with a limp.

His arms -

covered

in tattoos

and scars -

are lethargic

by choice.

The biting

winter sun

delivers respite

from late December

northerlies.

He reeks of Franzia.

Redolent, it shadows

him, haunts

him like what he drinks

to forget.

His unkempt white beard

is stained yellow

around the mouth

from years of cigarettes

and no-shave Novembers.

He dons a jacket

- faded glory -

that is two sizes too small

and his pants stay together

like a couple for their kids.

Too proud to join

the Salvation Army

on Christmas Eve,

he finds his bench,

lies down

and survives

one

more

night.

II

A man in a suit

drives home in an Audi.

His collar

is stained

with cheap lipstick

and Chateau Lagrange

from last night's

late night meetings.

Angie, his wife,

waits anxiously

at the door

of their four bedroom,

three and a half bath

Victorian.

Her eyes -

still puffy

and red -

fixated up Swann St.

She is not blinking

and barely breathing.

The kids

have been sent to Grandma's

for the night.

They watch TV -

SpongeBob SquarePants.

The Audi

drives by a man on a bench

He looks asleep -

possibly dead.

The suit inside thinks to himself:

“That poor man.”

Author's Note

I'm sorry I keep changing this thing! haha. I am really never satisfied with a poem. :) What do you think of it now?

Reviews

[What happened to simple..]

I'm glad I stumbled upon this =) so very glad! Such a sweet flow you got going on there, every word meant so much, and the 'suit' at the end is genius, though I would have loved it if the S were capitalised =P

but such great irony, sarcasm, really fab =) xx

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Can't picture the guy in the suit and the Audi drinking cheap vodka...Tanqueray maybe...lol...or single malt scotch...I know...everyone has their own vision...but if the guy can afford good clothes and a good car...it is dubious he would skimp on his liquor...other than than...a cool write.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

VEry interesting, I like how both pieces cross one another, both are very surreal depictions of life... the ending of the second piece gave me a chuckle, not cause it is funny cause it is reality, this man is on the same path and doesn't even know it.

[Ruth]

And excellent it is!
WOW!
I adore this :)
Free form is a favourite of mine - to let go and drift away in words to this degree is amazing, surreal and has impact!
You have taken a lot of hard hitting imagery, combined, its astounding!
xx

[Joshua Smit]

i love the way it shows the two people in contrasting situations, but makes it seem like they both not so well off

[Budd Black]

I like the contrast. You might do three verses with the third pulling them together and the second soley about the man. The first verse is the most powerful and would work stand alone.

[Tate Morgan]

An interesting piece i like works that delve into reasons for being such as here too proud to join salvation army these are the essence of a man

[Laureeann]

It's stunning. You're very descriptive and it's easily imaginable. You have wonderful voice

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I like the stark aura you've created with concise use of word placement~fits the emotional core of the moving poetic~

[Linzey]

I really like the structure to it. It can explain how hard life his and the will to stay as one's self. Never letting another help you out... being almost too proud in the end. Might I add I fully understand what you mean with the what he drinks to forget :)

[ClosingAccount]

Very nicely written!
5 stars