Your Eyes

A love poem!

In all my life I have never seen
anything so beautiful as your eyes so green.
To compare them to anything would be unfair
for they put nature herself to shame.

The stars must twinkle every night
because they try with all their might
to be as beautiful as those green eyes.
Diamond sparkles are blemished too.
They are trying too hard to be like you
and your eyes with the subtle hint of blue.

Try as she might, she has no chance
for your eyes are more beautiful than the dance
of wildflowers in the summer wind.
Deeper than any ocean, and more radiant than the sun.
Your eyes just cannot be outdone.

I am caught now, there is no escape.
Not that I want to, for I just need to take
this time to look into the eyes of my true love.
Your eyes have caught me There is no doubt.
I love you girl with all my heart.

Author's Note

A silly little love poem for my baby. <3

Reviews

[C.]

Interesting poem. Some parts I really liked and some parts I didn't. When the rhyme breaks in s1, l4 it sounds beautiful. But then when it's brought back in other places I find it a little too namby-pamby. Also, the tone changes from formal to informal and from near-Shakespearean to almost-slang at parts. I didn't much care for that. Overall, however, I appreciate your courage in tackling a love-poem: very personal and also very difficult. That said, I think you pulled it off fairly well. I especially admired your decision to pick one item (the eyes) as a symbol but also as simply themselves for their own sake. Classy.

[Robin]

poetic heartfelt sincerity ~ it is in the eyes ~

[Ashley]

soooo cute!!!

[cassandra violet]

wonderful imagery!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

I bet your honey loved it! just beautiful!!!

[InkSlinger]

Love will never steer you wrong.. there is nothing silly about this sweet little gem. I am sure you make those eyes sparkle with delight whenever she reads the word you write. Well done J.. well done!

[Emunah June.]

Awwww! I think thats cool when guys write something to the girls! Not to mention that this was just utterly adorable! She better have liked this!! Great write!

I would hardly call this "silly"!! I thought it was beautifully and thoughtfully constructed. The way you came up with things to compare her eyes to was brilliant, not to mention incredibly sweet. Very cute and very well done. :)

[Pikachu]

it switches from rhyme to free verse, i like the vivid emagery and love the way you express your words. I love peoples eyes as well its a portal to ones soul

[Jurikosan]

That's really good. I may be young but I get what you mean. You can't really compare real beauty to anything. Although the rhyming pattern was off, It was a great poem.

100/100