Extinction

This is a very early poem. It reads almost like a "slam" poem. I kinda like it even though it breaks a TON of poetic rules!

The extinction of succinction; Information overload.
New idol, Next best, Who’s together, Best dressed.
The death of intelligence with required ignorance
and misconceived history prescribed by the State.

Nobody behind means nobody ahead
Individual thought fills them with dread.
Perceived perfection accepted without question
and slavery to Patriotism prevents progression .

Now is the time to not rhyme, but take action.
Let them know reaction to their tyranny.
All need to rise to this call.
Only with action will governors react.

Rise, stand and be counted.
Allow your voice to stand out and be heard.
Every great movement started with few
and then grew into a movement of many.

This is the time, the moment, the chance
to leave a mark and change the world
Do not give into the new idol, next best,
Do not care who is together or best dressed.

Care about this world and make a difference.
Here and now achievement is within reach.
Stand together; the voice of one is small
But they cannot and WILL NOT ignore us all.

Author's Note

Just a very early poem that I wrote. I know it breaks a lot of poetic rules, but I still enjoy the sound of it. I am looking at revising and seeing if I can pull a real poem out of this mess of words. Any thoughts?

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

Wow! I love this so much. It's so insightful and full of truth and wisdom. I really liked the style of this write and thought that it was worded beautifully. There was something so unique and so creative about the way in which you expressed your ideas, and I actually liked the all the cluttered thoughts that made up this poem. An amazing line to end the poem with too. Nice work,
~PaperHearts

[Desert Dreamer]

The way you put the words together makes this powerful. I do believe more and more people are ready to stand together to make a change to the world, these words could easily encourage people to act on their feelings, to become part of a revolution. Great writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes your words are true. The meek won't find peace in this world. We live in a world where big companies will lay-off 250,000 men and woman. Replace them with low pay people. Then make the largest profit and the Government loan them money almost for free. It is a screw-up world. The common people need to gather like in Europe. Almost 100 thousand college students demonstrated a increase in their college fee last week in England. If we act like cattle walking into the slaughter house. We will nothing for the next generation. A outstanding poem. You made me think.
Coyote

[Devons]

This is rather well put together and entertaining, as well as carrying a motivated message of defiance; but also there is a touch of brilliance in the way it is delivered. SLAM poetry? Yes, I suppose, in its nature - but it reads in the mind just as well. In fact, I think it has more effect in the mind than it might aloud - especially since the entertainment value would win-out over an audience who in this day and age (as the poem implies) would be more interested in the easy superficiality of such a thing than really listening. As for "breaking a ton of poetic rules" - well, hardly a ton; and poetry -although the elitists would disagree- should not be subject to 'rules'. Rules are for order, and art takes no orders.
"Great men smash laws" said Napoleon, someone told me. Though I'm not suggesting you are a great man - unless you are planning to begin this revolution amongst apathy by proclaiming yourself its leader - but I would say that you are a very good writer... according to what is displayed in the words you have written here.

[Megan]

I think it's more than worth the revision, because what it's talking about is of great importance to everyone and little people realize it in society nowadays. I like how it creates a call to action as well.

[.]

rules in poetry?? LOL You give an 'call the revolution speech..!! Strong, powerfula and uplifting piece. nice :)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

poetic rules are meant to be broken and recreated~ that is the poet's progressive heart in action~ excellent free form flow~

[Crowley]

There are no rules in my eyes, unless you are trying to write a sonnet or something. this makes me want to join the revolution, stick my flag in the ground and defend it for all I'm worth. Cool poem.

[koty bell]

amazing great flow would work really well as a rap