The Perfect Tan

Inspired by a friend. The last line is not my own, but it fit nicely.

The Perfect Tan

 

 

The day was hot, the sun shining down

The still in the air enough to make your head spin around

 

The beach was sparse, not many nearby

So no one to look at, no one to catch his eye

 

But then in the distance, a figure came closer

A girl! he exclaimed, as he about fell over.

 

Her skin as bronze as  the perfect statue metal

Her time in the sun, must rival a flower petal.

 

No evidence of a line in her tan to be seen

No splotches, no speckles, no streaks at her knee

 

Just the perfect tan!  He whispered in glee.

I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave!

Reviews

[Hinoto]

hehe very cute. I like it a lot

[Justaguy]

Thank you for taking the time.

[melissa]

nice! it had a awesome flow to it

[Justaguy]

Thanks. It was a quickie...lol

[melissa]

quickies can be a good thing:)

[Justaguy]

Absolutely!

[Holly Mason]

and she exclaimed ,as she walked out of sight
no darn tan lines , I sprayed the can just right!
hhahaha only kidding I read this with the "Twas the night before Christmas" beat...
thank you for sharing...love that car pic*)

[Justaguy]

LOL. I like your additions. Thank you for reading. That pic, is of a car that is exactly, like one I used to have. Same color, same wheels. Loved that car.

[Corset]

oh cute closing line in this sexy poem, the rhyming is staggered perfection and I laughed out loud in some places, just what I needed just now :)

[Justaguy]

awww. Thank you. I am very glad you enjoyed it.

[icelandicblue]

LOL great rhyme and imagery with a bit of humor too.

[Frieda P]

Ha sounds like you're a tushy guy, nicely pen'd....as long as they don't look like a Dorito...

[Justaguy]

I am a whole package guy...but nothing wrong with a nice tushy!... ;)

[Tom]

Perhaps she was a naturist and that's why she had such a flawless, glowing tan ?

[Justaguy]

One never knows...lol

[Dye]

I've always like that last line. Very nicely incorporated.

[Justaguy]

Thank you. yes, I have always liked that line as well.

[TL Boehm]

Her skin as bronze as the perfect statue metal

Her time in the sun, must rival a flower petal.

Wonderful lines in this piece! Nicely penned!

[Justaguy]

Thank you. It was on a whim. I am glad you liked it

[Wall of Words]

It's a very nice poem. I wish I could tan perfectly. Haha. I tend to just get freckles or sunburt.
Good job. :)
Sylvia.