The girl who was afraid of monsters in the dark

It's pretty long winded but if you're gonna read it please read it to the end. If you have anxiety you may be able to relate to some of this story

There was once a girl who was afraid of the dark, and all the monsters in it.

She knew there were no monsters,

And that’s what people who didn’t know any better would say to her when she was scared,

Simply that monsters didn’t exist.

But even though she knew they weren’t real, the girl felt they were.

When you are still just a little girl who is afraid of monsters in the dark,

Feeling that something is real is much more powerful than what you believe.

So people saying that the monsters weren’t real wasn’t a huge help.

Sometimes the girl woke up in the middle of the night and there were no monsters, and she believed that she made them all up, and she thought that she was just being silly and childish and stupid,

But some nights she woke to feel eyes watching the back of her head and a face in her window and a gaunt tall creature in her closet and a big smile next to the door and she felt that there might be fingernails crawling up and down her spine.

And of course she was safe,

Because monsters aren’t real.

But saying that to the girl isn’t really any help.

So the girl who was afraid of monsters in the dark was on her own, because no one around her could say the right words to make her feelings go away.

She started by making her space her own.

She decorated the walls with everything she loved and the ceiling with everything that she thought was feeling so she could always feel at home when she went to sleep.

Secondly, she left a flashlight on so it dimly lit up the parts of the room that scared her the most.

And then every night before bed she closed the curtains and her closet and the door, so she couldn’t feel anything there.

When she still got scared, she would sit up in bed, and very bravely stare in the corners.

She would imagine the monsters herself, to get ahead of her feelings.

She would create the image of the scariest monsters she could think of, to scare her thoughts before she could scare her feelings,

And while this technique led to many sleepless nights,

Eventually creating her own monsters let the girl almost feel that they weren’t real.

And sometimes the girl stayed up all night in her dark bedroom, talking to herself or creating pretty stories inside of her own head, just to ward off the monsters and remind her feelings that they couldn’t hurt her.

A monster in the dark has never hurt anyone.

One day, the girl who was afraid of monsters in the dark decided this was it.

She could stop feeling so afraid.

And so she walked into her bedroom at bedtime, all by herself, and she closed her door and her closet and her windows, mostly out of habit, but instead of turning on the flashlight the girl reluctantly set it on her night stand, and then she decided no, she wasn’t scared, and so she opened up her windows and her closet again to let all the darkness in.

The girl sat on her bed.

She was really ready to test her limits.

She turned out the light.

The girl who was afraid of the dark was indeed still afraid of the dark, and as she sat there her heart began to pump blood faster than normal and her face felt all hot and tiny little bits of her were screaming to run and hide and turn the light back on,

But she was ready for this.

The girl had been training and so she knew what to do.

She took some deep breaths and stared at her closet, then her window.

She imagined faces and dark tall bodies in every shadow and blind spot.

And the girl felt the scariest things she’d ever felt in her whole wide life.

And by now her eyes were filling with tears.

But she endured.

And the light stayed off.

And after a few minutes,

Things started to die down

And her sweaty palms stopped being so cold

And her tense muscles relaxed

And her reluctant heart finally slowed down

And the girl who was once afraid of the dark no longer felt scared.

Miraculously, she was able to let out a small sound of happiness.

She was able to chuckle a bit, and then laugh, in a space that had just a few minutes before, held so much danger for her,

And she was able to make as much noise as she wanted without worrying that she would attract monsters to her bed, because by all the gods,

Monsters aren’t real.

What an incredible feeling.

Now, the girl could sleep through the night.

But she wasn’t tired.

So much excitement, so much happiness and fear all at the same time was overwhelming her so much she couldn’t sleep.

So the girl sat up in her bed and grabbed the flashlight on her nightstand,

And she shined a tiny light on her favorite book and she read 5 whole chapters

It was amazing because she could actually look at the page, without feeling the intense need too look up every second because for the first time, ever, the girl didn’t feel like anything would hurt her if she didn’t look.

When the girl was finally ready to sleep, she lay in bed with a smile.

And then had to get up and out of bed, unfortunately.

She had to use the bathroom, and probobally get a glass of water and wash her face too because it was still covered in sweat from back when she was so scared of the dark.

And this was really so amazing because having to use the bathroom in the middle of the night no longer felt like little more than a minor inconvenience, and this time she didn’t have to get all scared to leave her room and go into the dark hallway.

She didn’t even have to take a flashlight.

Because the girl was no longer afraid of the dark or the monsters in it.

And also

Monsters aren’t real!

It was great.

The girl who used to be afraid of monsters in the dark opened the door to the hallway and stepped out.

A part of her, the old part, the part that was still afraid of the dark, was still hesitant, and it wanted to make her walk slowly, and it wanted to hold her back and it wanted her to go back to her room and grab her flashlight,

But she disregarded these thoughts

because monsters aren’t real,

So the girl who was once afraid of monsters in the dark moved onward,

And even though she was scared,

She knew she was safe,

And she could probobally sit here if she wanted too,

Because there was never anything to be afraid of,

And monsters aren�"

For once, the girl who felt afraid knew what it was like to see her worst nightmare, and to see it and not just feel it was like as if it were real.

What does a worst nightmare look like?

The girl who used to be afraid of monsters in the dark would know.

But she couldn’t tell you about it.

Author's Note

what do you guys think of the spacing and formatting? I kind of just formatting this how I thought felt right, but it's still a total shoot in the dark.

And was it too boring?

Reviews

[JayG]

First, the easy part: Formatting.

Like most internet sites this one strips out leading spaces and tabs, which is why you can’t indent in the way you’re used to seeing with fiction. But, they do translate indentation from MS Word if you use the top pip of the top-of-the-page ruler to indent each paragraph by about 5 spaces, then leave out the double spacing between paragraphs.

Next is is the result of what I call, The Great Misunderstanding. Like most people who turn to writing fiction, you’ve missed something critical: We leave our school years knowing that to write a screenplay we will need more knowledge of that profession — as we would to work as a journalist. But because our teachers never mention it, and the pros make writing fiction seem so natural and easy, we never apply that idea to fiction. But we must, because the purpose of public education is to provide employers with a pool of employees who possess skills THEY need, like the ability to write reports, letters, and other nonfiction business applications.

And when it comes to fiction, we see none of the tools and tricks being used as we read, because as always, art conceals art, and we see only the result of using those tools.

But, we expect to see that, and will turn away in a paragraph if those tools weren’t used. More to the point, when we read our own work we cheat. We begin reading already knowing where we are, who we are, and what’s going on. So for us, each line points to images, ideas, details, and more, all waiting to be pulled from our mind as needed. In fact, because we know all that as we write, we'll tend to leave out detail that we see as too obvious to mention, but for which the reader requires context. So, as a result, for the reader, each line you present points to images, ideas, details, and more, all waiting to be pulled from *YOUR* mind as needed.

See the problem?

Making it worse, the presentation method that most of us choose is related to the fact-based and author-centric writing skills of school. Using them, we talk TO the reader as an external observer, providing information. And unfortunately, that approach matches that of verbal storytelling, which can NOT be used on the page for reasons that are invisible to the author.

Like over 70% of what’s posted on online writing sites, you’re transcribing yourself telling the reader a story, as if to an audience. But verbal storytelling is a performance art, where HOW you tell the story matters as much as what you say. Lacking the actors, scenery, and even mood music of film, the storyteller substitutes THEIR performance for that of the film.

But...can the reader know the emotion you would place into the narrator’s voice? No. Can they know the gestures you’d visually punctuate with? No again. How about the changes in expression that illustrate emotion, and the body language that would amplify or moderate emotion?

See the problem? For you, who can hear the emotion in the narrator's voice because you place it there, and who perdorms as you read, it works. But for the reader? It’s a storyteller’s script without the performance notes and rehearsal time.

In other words, it’s not a matter of talent, it’s that you’re missing information on the skills that have been developed over centuries — skills that most who turn to fiction are not aware exist. So you have a LOT of company. And, the solution is simple. Add the missing skills to your toolbox, practice them till they’re as natural to use as the nonfiction skills you’re using now, and there you are.

Of course the word simple and easy aren’t interchangeable, and since you’ll be learning the skills of a profession, there’s a lot of work involved. But so what? Learning what you want to know is enjoyable, not a chore. And those new skills will add options, and make the act of writing a LOT more fun, for both you and the reader. Instead of giving the reader secondhand information, you’ll be making the reader live the events in real-time, as the protagonist — as you will as you write it. You’ll be making the reader feel, and care, not simply learn details. As E. L. Doctorow put it: “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”

To get started, two suggestions: First, I’m vain enough to believe that my articles and YouTube videos can provide a kind of overview of the differences between fiction and nonfiction writing, plus what traps to avoid.

Next, try a few chapters of Debra Dixon’s, GMC: Goal Motivation & Conflict. It’s a warm easy read that feels like sitting with Deb as she talks about writing. I think you’ll find it eye-opening. And you can read or download it from the link below:
https://archive.org/details/goal.motivation.conflictdebradixon/page/n5/mode/2up

So...I know this is far from what you hoped to see. But since, as I said, the probems are invisible to the author, and you’ll not address the problem you don’t see as being one, I thought you might want to know.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
~ Mark Twain