"I Dreamt I Died, Babe"

A Story by Alec B.

I had a dream a few nights back, and when I woke up I had this constant thought drifting through my mind. Feedback would be great. Thanks :)

It was a bright, sunny day. The kind of day you’d spend with your loved one. It was the kind of day that just makes you happy. It was the kind of day that I have only seen in my dreams. This day would never be a reality. So I fell asleep, hoping to dream of that perfect day, where I could spend it with the girl I love. My hopes had come true, but everything good that happens to me has a habit of changing dramatically.

-Dream Sequence-

It started out as the perfect day I had thought of. It was sunny outside, the birds were chirping and kids were playing outside. It was the kind of cliché s**t that just doesn’t happen in reality. I was looking down upon myself from the third-person perspective. I focused on the driver’s license I had obtained the day before. I saw the smile on my face. I watched myself get in the car that morning, with good intentions on picking my girlfriend up and giving her the best day of her life.

I watched myself start the car, and if I had known, I would’ve yelled for myself to stop. Or maybe it was best that things went as planned. I drove down the street with a smile on my face, singing along to the songs that were on the radio. I came to a stop at a red light. Thinking I had time, I got out my cell phone to call my girlfriend to tell her about my soon-to-be arrival. She never answered. I put my phone away, and continued driving towards my destination. I got onto the freeway. A few minutes down the road, I heard an undesirable honking from a nearby vehicle. I paid no attention, continuing my route. Had I known what was to come, I don’t know if I would’ve told myself to continue or just go back home. The vehicle to my side made an abrupt turn, right into the side of me. I spun out of control and went off the side of the railing. A moment before I hit the ground, everything turned black. There was no ‘life flashing before my eyes’. It was just utter blackness. It wasn’t the kind of blackness you see, but rather the kind you feel deep inside that hurts.

                I had been watching myself, not knowing what would happen next. It’s as if I had been watching myself on television. It was no kind of reality show I’d want to watch, starring yours truly. It was like watching the season finale of my life. And like all television shows, it gives you that dramatic cliffhanger at the end. Was I dead? The answer became clear when that part of my life had replayed. I watched myself again, waking up to the beautiful day, getting in the car and driving off. I had watched myself take out the cell phone and call my girlfriend. I watched as she never answered. However, this time, I didn’t see myself hang up. What I had seen was my girlfriend holding her phone in her hand, watching my name appear saying I was calling. She didn’t answer. She ignored it. She put the phone back in her pants pocket. I was watching her. Why was I watching? Because there was a purpose.

                There was another guy. I never saw his face in my dream, but I felt like I knew who he was. He walked up to her door, knocked, and she appeared. The smile on her face was like nothing I had ever seen. It was more beautiful than ever, but this time it hurt me. She wasn’t smiling just because she was happy; she was smiling because she loved him. How did I know? She kissed him. Her face lit up, and I had never seen that expression when I kissed her. Her expression showed it all. I had seen the romance between them. It was the romance I thought I had felt when I kissed her, but never seen. Then they walked away, holding each other’s hands with the world upon their shoulders. And I was here, watching it all happen in front of me. I felt angry, crushed, betrayed, and a bit satisfied. If I couldn’t give her happiness, there was someone that could.

                I woke up with sweat dripping down my face, and tears pouring down my cheek. I sat up, thinking about everything that had happened. It made me think so much. It made me think about death first, for that was how I imagined myself dying. A car accident. Then it made me think about her. While I was out there, probably mangled from the wreckage with no way of identifying me, there she was with this great guy who made her feel happy and loved. There she was with this guy, who wasn’t me �" her boyfriend. I know I can’t let myself think about this too much, but the feeling is like a virus. I can’t get rid of it. It was a dream, just images created from the mind with no possibility of becoming a reality. Then it made me think of her dreams. Some of her dreams had come true, so what was stopping mine?

                What makes me worry the most is knowing that my driving test for my license isn’t until next week. This could really happen. I don’t want to die. But maybe knowing if this can happen, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. She means so much to me.

                So I’ll send her a text. I’ll ask if she loves me. She’ll answer. Then I’ll respond with, “I dreamt I died, babe.” Her reaction won’t be a grand one. And I know the conversation will stop there. And I’ll keep on thinking if this could all become real.