letter to the moon

you.

your eyes shined in such a way that made every other person on this planet simultaneously sigh

because they couldn't be quite as good as you

your laugh stirred a warmth in me that i hadn't felt in quite some time

and your smile beamed through even my darkest moments

your shyness was accompanied by your incredible leadership 

and your confidence,

shining like a fluorescent lamp on a dark fall night

we met in the spring, ironically a new start for me

a whole new life that was ushered in by the very moment i laid eyes on you

and while the leaves were growing and flowers blooming

and a new world escaping from the bars that had held it back for months

and in our hearts we felt the same phenomenon

the first moment i had the distinct honor of gazing upon you

my life changed

because throughout my whole being fireworks burst with a new breed of loudness and light

and those songs we heard that first night and every night after

will haunt me beautifully in my sleeping and waking dreams for the rest of my life

on the thirty first morning of the first month 

early in the day, before i even had a chance to say i loved you...

god took you from me

and i haven't forgiven since

i'm not exactly sure who i haven't forgiven

but i know i can't forgive 

because i know that you want me to be happy

but in my heart i know that i'll never see that smile

or those eyes

or hear that laugh

or the voice which had breathed life in me after so long

and it kills me

the absolute miracle of the fact that i got to know you even for a short while

will always be my greatest accomplishment in life

and no matter where i go i will hold you dear to my heart

and i hope you know that though you're not by my side anymore

those little moments with you will always be the best times of my life

and the world will never be quite as bright and miraculous and beautiful without you here