The Devil's Path

I had written this- just for the sake of writing a gothic poem.

 

 

 

 

 

The Devil's Path

 

Danger is a constant

I tremble with my steps

my hands shaking

my voice breaking

I danced on the ridge of flames

and screamed as I fell to Hell

God waved goodbye

While the angels chuckled

Whom soley pleasure as I tumbled

My end is inevitable

A path of crumble

Memory of each ridge and turn

Why had I fallen then?

Hammering pounds hit my chest

my tears were of acid

stinging my cheeks

burning my eyes

I had deserved this destruction

It was my only place of route

Where was my choice

to choose the road not taken?

I had been guided by the hands of the Devil

To a beginning, that meant my end

Now I am dead.

My days will shatter

It is my time to suffer.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Review?

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

There is nothing constructive I could offer for your writing here because I enjoyed it. lol So, I'm biased. lol The totem pole form that stands on this page certainly has this presence of standing alone and meaning exactly what is written. besides the question mark and the last period in the poem, how do you think this poem would look with no "puncts"? There are a lot of them in that poem. It would look professional, memorable, and pop out of the page if there wasn't that view of so many commas. : ) I Like it : ) If there was, also, a space above and below the poem, do you think with it being centered as it is that it would bring the reader to the poem at first sight without the rest of the page squished around the poem?! Wonderful poem... xoxo -Mark

[Anna]

I like your idea of no punctuation, I never actually noticed how much I love commas lol

[Patrick Henry]

lol Wow!! I just looked at it and realized that your poem looks beautiful without it. I was only shooting you an idea..... Having a little space above and below it would also center it, bringing your eyes to where they belong... on your text. : ) It's looks nice. xoxo -Your Mark

[Anna]

Haha no I love constructive criticism! :)

[Patrick Henry]

Then we will never succumb to the underbelly of boredom, and use that enthusiasm you have for writing to always be able to reach me and hopefully call me friend to you. : ) Review this line of yours and think about the way it sounds. You have a beautiful poem, and to me you have this one strange line in it. : ) "Whom soley pleasure as I tumbled" xoxo -Your Mark

[Lucien Maier]

good the formatting suits the piece and works well. To a beginning, that meant my end. is a great line!

[Anna]

Aw thank you :)

[Westminster Abbey]

Very gloomy... in a good way though. Highly detailed, it put the reader right in the story. Very nice. 100/100

[Jordan's Back]

It sounds like Metal Lyrics, this is kick a*s!!!!

[Anna]

Haha thanks! :)

[Felicity's Eve]

Very dark... You know, most stray from this topic, but you took the concept and owned it! :D

A-ma-zing ^^

[Anna]

Thank you :D

[Felicity's Eve]

:)

[Felicity's Eve]

Haha signature smile ;)

[Anna]

XD

[Margarette]

I love how this poem is wonderfully written and truly enough, I'm a fan of this type of work. The dark and edgy endings are more unpredictable and rare to see here so reading this just made my day. I hope I can see more of this in the future.

[Anna]

Aw thank you, this review made my night :)

[Margarette]

You're welcome! It's just that it's morning here. haha:)

[Anna]

I see what happened there XD haha :)

[The Fallen]

:O This is soo my kind of writing!!! I absolutly loved this!! flows nicely! I believe this is one of my favourites by you!

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

nice one , really !

[Anna]

Haha thanks :)

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy )]

Welcome :)