Forever Strong

Stand high with pride.

Forever Strong

I whisper your name as my lips tremble

And my hands freeze, yearning for your warm grasp

I sing the song of the abandoned dove

I fly alone in the stormiest skies

I wish to the glimmering heavens

For a time where I could be me and you could be you

Our strength would hold the world

And we would unite together,

Our breaths even,

And our hearts full.

 

My voice echoes in the empty space

I lose my footing as I fall to the floor

And I break my faith as I follow the path

That leads me straight to the center of the earth.

Flames tiptoe on my skin as I dance to the edge

One jump can show me everything I’ve lived for

Is nothing but a memory to you?

I pull at the strings that control me

And bite at the cord that holds me to the ground.

But I’m here.

I’ll always be forever strong.

Author's Note

Please review!

Reviews

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Anna, your writing is beautiful. I will give you the suggestion given to me when I began writing. Try to cut out excess words......and is one remove it and read your line, you will find it is ok without it for example:
I whisper your name as my lips tremble
And my hands freeze, yearning for your warm grasp.........try this I whisper your name, my lips tremble
my hands freeze, yearning for your warm grasp.

Also try this, read over your work and look for repetive words, such as when you start lines one after the other with I. Try to either find an appropriate word to replace it or remove it and read what you have. Does it make sense? You may find it does. I laughed as I just removed an excess it. My mentor ragged me about my use of it for the longest. I said, "but it's important"! I learned to remove the ones I could. I wish you luck in all your poetic endeavors and know you will grow. I only wish I knew I could even write when I was 15.

[Anna]

Thank you so much, I understand what you mean by removing the excess words, and you're right it does sound better. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much :)

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

Review for change the World Comp

There are some elements of true emotion in here that are captured in perfect crafted lines. I really enjoyed this. Nicely constructed and good honesty.

[Anna]

I appreciate it thank you :)

[Ricky]

Wow!

[Eliott]

This is really good. I especially liked the end. I really like your work and would appreciate your advice on mine. Especially frozen tears, because not many have reviewed it.

[Ashly Christen]

beautiful,
a handful of lines really stand out to me
I kow everyone can relate to this
good job
please return a review, trying to get back in the swing of things here

[Anna]

Thank you so much, and I will!

[zainul]

I feel inspired by your mental courage.
Wonderful write
Added to my reading list and favorites.
100/100

[Anna]

Thank you so much, that was really encouraging, thank you for reviewing :)

[zainul]

You are welcome