It's hard for me,
To keep up this charade
giving everyone their way
except me
Even in the alphabet I
comes
before U
There's only so much I can do
Short of cutting off limbs
and mailing them in
to each of my friends
The heart broken
in so many pieces
yet preserved in stone
shattered before it could be shone
belongs to everyone I've ever known
I lied
I lie
I'm lying
to everyone
to myself
I hurt,
I'm hurting,
you
me
them
I hurt
more than I can bare
I'd die but it's too hard
I'd rather
bleed
because that kind of pain
does not deceive
though it is what I deserve
There's something secretly pleasent
about the scar that takes over
the arm
or the face
where I should be slapped
for letting go
of the drop of control
I once owned
Why do I fear
all that's good for me?