Flight

A story of overcoming

The lights flickered out and Maria sighed, that man must not have paid the electric bill again. She sat half slumped against the wall on the old, stained mattress that served as one of their three pieces of furniture. The dismal apartment looked barren holding only a metal folding chair and a crate used for a table. 

Maria used all of her strength to push herself to a standing position and walk to the one, cracked window. It had been raining and the drops still coated the floor in front of the sill where they had been cast in by the wind. Placing her forehead against the cool glass Maria whispered, "I'm sorry." 

She pulled the lock from the spot it was rusted in and slid it free from the catch. The window creaked to one side and a rush of air flew into the room, removing some of the staleness. Stepping out on to the fire escape, Maria felt a calm at last.

She leaned over the edge for a moment, enjoying the rush. There was no more looking back, no more regret for the young woman. Maria slipped both legs over the railing and flew for a moment, before meeting the ground she dreaded to walk.

Author's Note

Not my usual thing, as I usually write poetry, so any advice would be appreciated.

Reviews

[JuliaMancini]

I liked it especially since you stepped out of your comfort zone of poetry. I suggest extending the piece some more since the end was a bit of a cliff hanger. Overall, well done. :-)

[Jo]

i very much enjoy your writing and your voice, which is very clear in this short piece. I would keep writing writing writing prose--you have a very natural way of stringing words together that makes your thoughts accessible. In terms of advice, I would "get in touch" with your tactile side--this piece is lovely, but would be even more powerful with more description of each of Maria's five senses--what did the air smell like after the rain? what did the cold wooden floor feel like beneath her feet? what did she see below her? cement? people? what time of day was it? did she hear birds, voices, cars, traffic? did her legs shake with fear or was she so sure? lolol--sometimes I feel like writers have to be detectives. ;)

[Daytonight]

You say so much in such a short write. Very well done. Keep on penning.