L.O.S.E.R.

Just the beginning

L.O.S.E.R

 

“Report to the office right now, Mr. Phillips.” The guys cheered for their friend and the girls giggled like petty princesses. Mr. Phillips also known as Teacher’s Pest strolled down the aisle of desk holding up his hand for high-fives. But when he reached Maggie he slapped his hand down on his leg.

“Sorry, you’re a loser.” That was everyone’s cue to laugh, and they did. Except Maggie. She rolled her eyes and sunk down into her sweater. She could feel all the heat in her body zooming toward her ears and her cheeks. She peered out from underneath her sweater to see if her teacher was at least attempting to tame the group of wild animals. But, her supposed to be protector didn’t move a muscle, not even an occasional glare. Maggie hated to surrender so easily, but she found that giving up was the easiest way out. If her teacher couldn’t do anything what could she do?

Finally, the bell rang and everyone shuffled out of the room. Smiling, of course because now they had something chat about with their friends. Something that would make them look like they were the best in their little clique. It was so weird how this school so competitive. Everyone competed with each other for the prize of coolness. Of course this competition was optional. But, any situation like this would definitely come with a twist, and it did. If you didn’t compete then you would end up like Maggie, the loser.

While walking to her next class Maggie saw groups of guys and groups of girls. All in their exclusive group. Everybody seemed to have something to laugh at. Maggie always felt lonely when she would see this. She would always wonder why no one ever told her the jokes. Maggie continued walking then she felt a sting on her arm. She whirled around to find Teacher’s pest.

“Ow! What did you do that for?”

“Ha! You’re a loser.” Maggie try to look as tough as possible. But, she knew you couldn’t fake bravery, and even though she was really smart, she failed in bravery.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

The loser seems to be the "Teacher`s Pest".
He is attracted to Maggie, but he is unable to express
himself positively.
Your stories are attractive, interesting and very imaginative.
The only criticism I have is; double or triple space between
paragraphs. Making your story attractive leads readers to
become interested and maintain that interest through out the
story.
You are a writer! What more can be said? You have a terrific
imagination, a gift for story telling and the talent to express
yourself very well.
Good stuff !
---- Eagle Cruagh

[Pax Analog]

Hmmm. . .This doesn't seem quite complete. Obviously, the guy actually likes Maggie, but he's hiding the fact beneath bad-boy bravado, and in a mildly sadistic way, reveling in his cat and mouse leverage, 'cause Maggie is not socially confident, has no apparent circle of school friends.

What about closing with: "But her wavering smile spelled the unstated despite herself." At least it puts some kind of signature on what is a dangling vignette about a brash kid liking a girl but calling her a loser, and hints at the irony.

Pax