My thunder and rainy days. pt.1 clean

a slam poem, losing guster being thrown into emotionless words and phrases.

I notice when I get frustrated i think to myself, "I'm going to take a cold shower and cool off and calm down"

I lock the bathroom door and undress and I turn on the water. 

I do not make a move towards the tub as the cold water sprinkles off of the shower head- 

I wince as the tiny chilled droplets touch my warm body. I reconsider and make myself turn on only the hot water.

I am accustomed to the intense heat and allow it to scorch me as i step underneath its balmy-smothering embrace as I would a familiar hug or a fresh blanket from the dryer. 

My ears ring as water rushed over them as i begin to pray for the old skin cells to be washed away. 

The skin that your hands ravaged, the skin you kissed when it was convenient. 

I think often of you. As i probably should, you where my life for five years. 

Just as I think the cold water was a good idea, I thought being friends wasn't that bad of an idea.

Just as I feel about cold water, I felt we couldn't be just friends.

We-We were more; we where more complex, more seething, more fixation than just lust- hotter than any water heater could get.
Just as water, when I'd touch you, I'd evaporate.
 You'd turn away and I turn into a thick fog.
A low fog, fog that you only see when you turn on your brights, a fog you only notice when you forget.

I either keep my head low and take it blow-for-blow or raise above it all and return to my dark sky loom, begging for you to talk to me. You walk with your umbrella and keep yourself dry from the raine and damp, not even noticing how I fashion the flowers to bloom for you.
Passion and lightning once held behind your teeth, now swallowed whole as you damn the sky. 
I used to feel guilty for you getting caught in my raine. But now I have a boy that dances in my thunder like he was born in a hurricane and raised in tornado valley. 
He loves me, and all my jagged lightning, my rainshine, my heavy days, and my rolling thunder. He says I give him power-outages.
He is even enough to see the rainbows that I weave for him.
I may have been raised in a small town but one of my earliest memories as a child was a hurricane and I think the eye is my heart and you will never be in my heart, you will never be safe in my eye. You will be worn, eroded, and flooded out of my life.  
Left myself only to re-grow and blossom.

Author's Note

I try as best as I can, Im not really big on poetry but i've had a lot of inspiration recently.

Reviews

[Warrior]

Very awesome read. I like how your writing flows together, to make me visualize everything that's going on. Many stories on here do that, and that's why most of the stories I read on here are good because you all are very talented and gifted, I visualized everything as I was reading it. Great writing. On to another topic. I have a website where I post my short stories, and blogs on. I also have ads on the website. I was wondering if you can go to my website, and click on any ad. you don't have to buy anything, I promise you won't get any viruses, all it is is google adsense on my website, and the more clicks on the ads, the more it helps grow my website. My website is bwlawson.com I appreciate it, that you would be taking part in helping my craft, business, product, and brand grow. Thank you!