Almost. Too close it really hurt.

She closed her eyes and cried
Shaking from her cold insides,
Feeling like she could just die,
She closed her eyes and cried.

Her aching cold weak heart
That was filled with love and art,
Came to shatter and fall apart,
Oh, her aching cold weak heart.

When she felt lonely in despair
He swore he would be there,
The only one she need to care,
For when she felt lonely, in despair.

She closed her eyes and cried,
Shaking from her cold insides.
Her aching cold weak heart,
Came to shatter and fall apart.
For the one she needed to care,
Though he swore, he wasn’t there.

Author's Note

Don't be nice. If theres a mistake, tell me!

Reviews

[DogEatingFlowers]

No mistakes, but I feel like rhyming every line may be detracting from initial word choice. Maybe consider a different rhyme scheme, such as a-b-a or something like that. But otherwise, this poem is absolutely fabulous.