I based this entire poem off the last line which I heard on an episode of South Park. The J.Lo one
And so it ends here.
It is all over for me.
My sins have finally caught up with me.
The mask has been cracked, I am the only fool to be found now.
See through me and strike my heart with your piercing stares.
The mask no longer protecting me, I find myself weak.
Unable to handle the contempt in the demeanor of those around. I find only one path to take.
The beat of my heart slows, breathing now takes effort.
My eyes peek at the world one final time and then shut for good.
As I struggle to remain conscious, words unspoken, promises broken, views shaken, paths taken, all of the life I have experienced flow through my mind.
A life truly lived, having experienced greatness and degradation.
And now the life ending with regrets and sudden edification.
I like
"My sins have finally caught up with me.
The mask has been cracked, I am the only fool to be found now.
See through me and strike my heart with your peircing stares."
That part. It feels like something I can really relate too. This is great work. Good choice of words. :D Keep up the awesome work.
'...with regrets and sudden edification."
Truly, the moment of sudden edification will come as a thief in the night, surprising many who imagined themselves adequately prepared.
As to whether you will dream, I believe you will come to see this terrestrial phase as the dream, and your "then" state as the long hoped-for reality.
A lovely, touching and thought provoking writing.
A strong poem, the words flow beautifully as they come to your mind, sort of a "stream of consciousness write". Well done! Thank you for submitting this to my "Keeping the Dream Alive" contest! Helena :)
A very compelling and interesting take on what I interpreted to be reflection before inevitable death. It's funny that I came across such a beautiful piece as this when similar ideas and concepts have been making themselves present in my own mind as of late. It has a soft feel too it, however, it's accompanied by a heavy weight of insight and the nearly overbearing truth that the end is, well, truly the end. All that you have to show for it is the impact of the life you led.
My favorite line was: "and now the life ending with regrets and sudden edification."
I thought you expressed yet another beautiful flowy poem. Like all your other ones, this one you could tell had some hidden emotions in it. I loved the way you expressed it so well.
I love the part 'As I struggle to remain conscious,words unspoken,promises broken,views shaken,paths taken,
All of the life I have experienced greatness and degradation'
It is so well worded,keep up the fab work :D
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