A Moment's Weakness

Her choices were duty or love. She could've choosen whichever she wanted, but their are consequences for not choosing correctly. This is her reflection on the choice she made ***COMPLETE***

I don't know why I was surprised... I knew what would happen as soon as I decided to forsake my duties, but still... I thought I would have more time. I didn't think they would attack me so quickly, nor did I think they would send Him. My crimes didn't warrant his presence... his punishment. Dead. I'm dead. No one could out run him. No once could hide from him. No one could defeat him in battle, he was the most elite warrior in the kingdom.

 

I couldn't believe that they sent Him just because I had a moment of weakness. Okay, maybe it was more than a moment, but I couldn't help it. For once, I wanted to know what it felt like to be normal. I knew better than to make contact with mortals. Especially mortal men, but this one had caught my interest. He was a carpenter, an artist. He could create the most beautiful things with wood and a knife. I was surprised at how easily he accepted me. It couldn't have been normal to encounter a being with wings, he thought I was an angel. I didn't bother to correct him, he thought I was beautiful and that made me happy.

 

I didn't think anyone would notice my absence for a few hours, but of course, I was wrong. I was found out, and after hearing my punishment, I decided that the best course of action would be to leave. I could live a normal life with my mortal man. I tried to go to him, but they got to him first. His memory of me was completely wiped, and worse, he no longer saw me as a beautiful angel, he saw me as a hell born succubus. It was almost worse than having killed him to spite me. He feared me now, hated me. My chance at happiness was gone. Stolen because for even a few moments, I chose love over duty and now I was being punished.

 

He had found me quickly enough. Hiding in a cave. I knew with him this close running wouldn't do me any good, and I didn't cherish the thought of dying like a coward. I knew what sins I had committed and I knew the consequences of my actions. I was not afraid. If I had to face Death then I would face him with my chin held high and my sword swinging. I had readied myself, as much as one could against such a foe, and was their to greet him on a make-shift platform when he first entered.

 

"Desideridus, what brings you to this side of Modgnik? I would have thought that one such as you would find yourself too influential to be seen in such meager settings." Unsurprisingly, he didn't say anything.

 

Desideridus, also know as Death, was very much like his name. Quiet, unassuming, and frightening. No one knew much about him, including what he looked like. He always wore that robe, and even if by some chance someone was able to knock it off from him, he always wore a skin tight cloth underneath so that all you saw were his eyes. Amber. A deep amber that made his eyes glow, and him seem all the more frightening.

 

I was frightened. He knew it. I knew it. But if he knew anything about me, then he also knew I wouldn't let that stop me from fighting him. With a glare of defiance towards him, I made my move and launched myself towards where he was standing. Where he had been standing. He disappeared. A cut across my back answered where he was.

 

Quickly pivoting, I feinted towards the right and struck with my left sword. I managed to slice his robe and nothing else, but that small victory put an arrogant smile on my face.

 

"What's wrong Desi? Getting slow in your old age?" I taunted as he came at me in a blur, slicing open my right arm. A scream of pain left me despite myself. Okay, that hurt. My mom always told me that that smart mouth of mine would get me into trouble. I always hated it when she turned out to be right. Nevertheless, I couldn't afford to lose this fight. Not if I wanted to live.

 

With a warrior's scream, I rushed at him, sword at my side, bringing it up to clash against his. He humored me for a bit, actually making me think I could win, but evidently he became tired of playing with me and got serious.

 

With a mighty push, he flung me backwards and came at me with such a speed that it was breath taking. I had no defense. He was too fast. He sliced open my left arm. Slashed my thighs up. Pierced my stomach. Cut after cut appeared on my body in mere seconds. The pain was indescribable. Without even realizing it, I had dropped to the floor, too weak to continue to stand. Desiderius stood over me, features shadowed. I hated the way he stood over me. As if he were superior. Before I could think and give away my intention, I lifted my torso up just enough to swipe at him with my sword.

 

Success! I managed to cut his robe, and judging by the tip of my blade, even managed to nick him. I let a smirk fill my face. I could tell he was mad even though I couldn't see his expression. I opened my mouth to give a cocky response, but before I could utter anything his foot came down and I was unconscious.

 

So now here I lay. Broken, bloodied, ripped, and battered; awaiting my execution. I thought back to my mortal man. Valerius. He may hate me now, but I would always relish the memories of him as he held me in his arms, as he would carve me little animals figures just to make me smile, as he gathered flowers for me. A smile came to my face. I would die, but I wouldn't regret it. For a few weeks, I had known the love of a good man who saw me for who I was instead of what I could do. It was enough for me to hold my head up and walk proudly to my death, as they called me to the execution board.

Author's Note

Author's Note: This is based off a couple drawings my cousin sent to me. Just a short story.
I know it's short and seems unfinished, but I got lazy so fudge it

Reviews

[Trinity]

Wow! This story is really great! It could be the beginning of a great fantasy book! And believe me, I've read quite a lot of fantasy books and their beginnings. The plot seems catching and I would definitely read something like this if I happen upon it in the library or at the bookstore. You could always make something bigger from it :)

[SweetRainDrops]

WOW!!! I love it!! Write more!! That's the kind of stories I am looking for to read!!

[WritersSoul]

Oh, its a seriously dazzling story :3 great description, and excitiung fight:) I like it

[HalfBloodPrincess]

yay I got a shout out lol "my cousin sent to me" i.e me!

[dieuxsansculte]

I'd love to see you expand this story.

Tell us more about Valerius and your main character (who, so far, is nameless.) You could start out by saying, "I am (insert name,) and I loved a mortal man." Something like that to tell us who she is and what she's all about.

A few details. I think it would sound better if your carpenter used " a few rough tools" instead of a knife. (second paragraph.)

In the 9th paragraph you're missing the word "me" in last sentence.

In the last paragraph "know" should be "known" in the next to last sentence.

Excellent write.

You've gotten me interested. Don't leave me hanging; I want more.

[Review]

It doesn't seem unfinished to me. I like it! So, is she like a winged person? a different race? it would help if there was some description about her, but it is still great as is. I didn't notice any major grammar or spelling issues, so that was good.
Excellent work! Keep writing!
**Review**