Just be a broken chapterA Story by prachi prangya agastiIt's 3 AM and am still hung up on your wordsIt’s
3 am and I am still hung up on your words. “I
always have loved the little crinkle on your nose.” You said about my photo in
social media. “How
your eyes narrows down when anyone takes your picture without permission.” I
found myself typing a haste thank you when my heart is still gasping and all
the words form a single sentence: You remember. You
are an expert in keeping the lines blurry at one time and forbidden at other.
Every time I decide to take some time and numb the coldness upon my heart; I
turn around and find you standing with the same baffled facade of wanting my
heart more than enough. Nothing
makes me emptier than reminiscing about the decent conversations we have
pretending there never has been a past so tangled between us. I
am trying hard not to let you have this moment to own the desperation,
anticipations, fastening of heartbeat for your replies to my text. Every time I
resolve to let the conversation be as a simple gesture of acquaintance it
transforms to something more. How
can I be reasonable when at times you portray the familiarity with the ‘me’ I
have lost in the maze of my anguish? It’s like breaking up all over again, a
messier version. Of sometimes seeing the very emotion in you and other time
blatant ignorance. There
is no ‘buts’ or ‘ifs’ or ‘when’ in love as it is said but I don’t know if our
love exist without the existence of the very condition. I cannot decide whether
to like you or not when you invade my pain and own it with a momentary sign of
something which cannot be. How
can I like the feeling of hunger for your desire when all it reminds me of
hundreds of days without you? But how could I slip into new season if I
continue to weave the broken knots with a layer of friendship. Remembering
hurts too much but this dance we have of unknown pretenses and abused signs of
togetherness and care hurts more. I cannot let you invade my thoughts quietly
while I sit here and write poet-less words for you. © 2017 prachi prangya agastiAuthor's Note
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Added on July 22, 2017Last Updated on July 22, 2017 Tags: remembering, love, heartbreak Authorprachi prangya agastibhubaneswar, chandrasekharpur, IndiaAboutThe person I am is the result of finite process of tests with no limits to its experiences. And the better aspect of the person I am can be reflected by the words of my family and friends. May be my i.. more..Writing
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