Hope ruins you

Hope is the easiest thing that turn into dust.

As she gazed at a slow and endless drizzle this afternoon, she descended into the cobwebs of hundreds of things about him that had quietly crawled into the nest of her heart.

Somehow she knew that she wouldn’t be able to meet him again. Yet somehow she had let him break her heart for nth time, again. She was just too stubborn to admit it. Several years after their separation she had calmly sighed at the thought of meeting him; staying still and not flinching when the phone chimed with his message. Because maybe, just maybe she could look him in the eye without hurting anymore. Maybe she could smile at his lame jokes without falling for him hard again. She never thought it could be messier. Yet a tiny little part of her knew they could never cross that terrible distance between them; she could never laugh about it without letting him break her heart. Because he could never be over the constraints of a relationship they had, he could never be the one to get over his pride and arrogance taking one step towards something that they could have. Because in his heart there was a trace of fear and raging war that he never allowed himself to overcome.

But now she couldn’t be mad at him because this was who he was, always been. She had been hanging on to this weird feeling of hope for far too long, waiting for him to take charge of his actions.; being a victim of her own optimism. Because he keeps consuming himself with his arrogance and she keeps forgiving it. Disappointment that’s what she felt when she saw his final text after a debate of meeting somewhere at four. She felt a sense of loss for something she never probably had. After all these years, he hasn’t changed, the one who gives and takes away at the same instant. She felt in her pit of stomach the familiar ache, the regret that he could only give.

She picked up her phone and played with the letters and then backspaces for quite a time. Every time he let his arrogance and ego rule him, his words burnt a hole in her chest, and her heart was sinking. She was left with nothing but a few syllables of overwhelming emotions she was craving to lash out on him. But she refrained herself. Because once she has foolishly surrendered her mind to a knot sitting in his heart that refuses to reply. She had let her mended heart crawl into the pool of his words, a spell that he create from time to time. So, she wants this to end here. No longer would she indulge in the hope of seeing him for one last time. Because it is hope that easily turns into dust. It is hope that makes these rainy days lonelier. And he is the master of hollow words and empty promises reminding her of all the broken places he had left in her.

The rain was falling through her heart and she let the drops wash off the scent of silent longings, raging debacles and jaded love. 

Author's Note

Thanks for the reviews.

Reviews

[Farhan Shaikh]

That was an interesting story to read..

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thanks...:-)

[Sudeep Mishra]

Fact, occurred in all lives, very well penned. some edits will make it more shiny.
Keep writing dear.

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thanks so much...:-)

[Carol Cashes]

"...she descended into the cobwebs of hundreds of things about him that had quietly crawled into the nest of her heart." Cobwebs, crawling, nest - excellent consistent "spider" imagery.

He keeps consuming himself with his arrogance is spot on. The master of hollow words - yes.

This piece has a few sentences that need restructuring, but these do not detract from the overall tone and content.

Thanks for a good read. Nicely done.

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thanks so much...:-)

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest,strong and worthwhile tale written.
"The rain was falling through her heart and she let the drops wash off the scent of silent longings, raging debacles and jaded love. The rain was falling through her heart and she let the drops wash off the scent of silent longings, raging debacles and jaded love. "
I liked the above lines. Realistic ending to life and love. Thank you Prachi for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thank you....:-)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Sofia]

Impressive indeed! I liked it..keep writing :)

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thank you so much...

[Sofia]

My pleasure!

[Wajiha Nayeem]

wonderful write....i loved it so much.

[prachi prangya agasti]

Thanks.....:-)