I Don't Love You Anymore

this one is lowk terrible but I wanted to use 808s & Heartbreak for a cover photo. This one is old, obv. I mean so is Right Now, Today but Right Now, Today is wayyy newer than this one

I don't love you anymore. I find myself cussing myself out when thoughts of you crop up in my mind. Everything is a reminder of you, but why should it be? After all, I don't love you anymore.

Every time I hear songs or bands you introduced to me, tell a joke that I told you, look through my old poetry, I see your god forsaken face, the same that was burned into my pupils not a month ago. Not anymore, I don't love you anymore.

If I'm being honest, I'm not sure I ever loved you to begin with. They say the feeling is unmistakable, but I'm not sure. Whatever I was feeling, it certainly helped mask your many, many imperfections. You constantly insisted that you weren't enough. I guess in the end, you were right after all. It doesn't matter if I loved you though, because even if I did, I don't love you anymore.

But if that was the case, why do I so often find myself reading over our old conversations and listening to your old voice messages? Why do I think of you with a pang of guilt every time I think of love? Why am I so sad, sadder than before you were here, now that you're gone? It's hard to answer these questions, especially since I don't love you anymore.

Why do I find myself repeating that phrase so much?