Glass Half Empty

Once a optimist, twice a pessimist

Three days ago I returned home for my winter vacation and I have never been so happy to have done chores in  my life. However, I still sleep sad every night knowing that inevitably I will go back. My body reveals this sad truth with a physical metaphor by moving the pain that I had on my back to a pain on my neck once I got here. The pain in my heart is still there just that it changed from not having the people I love to knowing that I am going to lose them again. I know 2 and a half months shouldn’t be that much but it is when you are alone. This pessimistic attitude has been brought forth by what transpired last quarter with everything I had built crumpling down onto my back ruining my confidence, ruining my drive, ruining my happiness. I look at myself in the mirror now and tell myself I can make when I know deep inside that I don’t believe that anymore. I want to be happy, but I wasn’t meant to be.

The only thing that keeps me afloat now is my girlfriend who has always been there by my side. She has never left my side even when things seemed the worst and I learned how important that is to have in times like these. I will try to enjoy these precious moments I have with the people I love because only that way will I be carried on for the next round of pain. I am the embodiment of a fall from grace, but I will keep looking up. Hopefully I am capable of making it through at this point without losing people. That’s all I want but it will take four years and it will cost me a few things to make it.

` I still care, but there are things that will always loom on my head of what could have been.

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[Drizzle]

Glass half full, there is always hope.