Dear Mom

A boy who just know realizes what his mom really meant in his life, but it is a little too late.

There’s a saying I used to always use, but never really took a second to think about what it entailed, “you don’t really know what you have until you lose it.”

Usually I meant it when it came to friends or some other thing that maybe didn’t warrant it. Well now I know the true meaning of this quote and how much it can really hurt when it’s true.

Mom your birthday is coming up and you’re turning 40, my old lady you were the first person and probably will be the last person to believe in me and love me. You are the reason I grew up with nothing to worry about, sure my dad worked to keep food on the table, but you were there to raise me and show me right from wrong. Because of you I feel proud to be the man I am, a very nice and accepting person who loves and respects people. For 18 years you were always there and the first to hug me on my birthday telling me that you were happy that I was your son, that I made you proud. Every time I think of why I changed it’s because of you, I saw your struggle and realized that not every mother would push themselves so hard for their child. I learned to be proud to call you my mom and that I everything I do will be to return everything you did for me.

Mom your never ending love has been my driving force for so long and even now when I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me and I love, the love I have for you will never be decreased at this point you as my mother will have a special place in my heart.

Now to where I messed up and lost you. Growing older I felt that loving my mom wasn’t “cool” I still said it but wasn’t as good as showing it as I was when I was young. I remember when I was 6,7,8,9,10 I would always write a letter and buy a $3 box of chocolates as a birthday present for you. You would always say how cute it was and would always remind me when I was older about how you missed that. I would essentially ignore it and for the past 5 years or so I haven’t given you anything or shown you much love on this special day.

Your birthday is coming up mom and this is the first time in all of my life that I will not be there. It hurts me with all my soul and I regret not taking advantage of those days that I could have been there because now it quite possible that for the next four years I won’t be there to celebrate your special day.

What hurts me the most is that you will say is that the most special gift you can think of to give you is my success, but unfortunately I don’t know if I can even give you that. Mom I am hurt that I can’t tell you how miserable I am because I want you to keep your peace of mind. In reality I wouldn’t mind working as a humble seamstress like you just to be next to you and thank you for everything that I have. Sadly, that wouldn’t help us. In a few days you will turn forty and I will send you a few things to reminisce about old times, but maybe this year was the point that I became an adult and started to be pulled away from you. It is also the year that I realized that you won’t be there forever. Momma one day I won’t have you there to go to you when I need comfort or wisdom that school will never teach. I won’t have you to be there to talk me through a tough time, or to feel your hugs and love. I honestly don’t want to be alive when that happens because mom I love you.

Mom, I will always remember you saying that your childhood dream was for you to have two successful children because you knew that you wouldn’t have the opportunity to be so yourself. That hurts me so damn much you have sacrificed everything and although I thought I appreciated it before, honestly I didn’t. Today I learned that you are the best mother I could have asked for, I don’t care about where we began, our humble beginnings because you gave me all the tools I needed in order to succeed. One day I want to let you relax and tell you to let me work and give you everything you need.

Mom I wish you a happy birthday and I promise I will make you as proud to be my mother as I am of being your son. Happy 40th Mom!

Love,

Your son

Reviews

[Drizzle]

I am sure you will make her proud. Just like you've always done.