BWHYB - Chapter 4

Benjamin sat deep in meditation in his favorite spot the church courtyard. There was a beautiful view of the city but the walls and vegetation in the courtyard garden offered a veil of protection and he felt as if he were watching from a cloud and not the side of a cliff nor did it betray the vulnerability of the large compound to his back. He had an idea of where to find Jeremiah but when he reached out his mind to the small home he saw nothing. He was sure that Jeremiah was blocking him and would have to drive out there unannounced. The idea of popping in on Jeremiah left him unable to sleep and he meditated in the attempt to slow his racing heart.

He was unsure how Jeremiah would welcome him. They had never been on bad terms in fact Jeremiah was the one that saved him from the gallows, but their last encounter was brief and now with the news of Jeremiah going rogue the sentimentality of their past relationship seemed unstable. The rumor of Jeremiah’s recent split from their age old doctrines had the Brotherhood frightened. There were whispered fears and hushed gossip throughout the halls of the church. No matter how hard people tried to change the subject it always seemed to turn right back to Jeremiah. Benjamin tried to listen in but as usual they treated him like the plague and hurried away when he came near. Abram might be offering his forgiveness but he doubted the rest of the church would ever come close to that.

“Damn hypocrites.” He muttered under his breath. He was trying to focus but there was too much rolling around in his brain fighting for attention. He stood and shook his limbs as if he could just shake off the anxiety like an uninvited horde of ants. He walked the grounds hoping to tire out his fears. He walked past the main hall of the church where Abram gathered everyone for his sermon, past the fountains and down the long halls of the living quarters. It was getting late and most everyone had turned in for the night. He was enjoying the solitude. He exited the main area of the compound and sat in the small alleyway that surrounded it. He leaned his back against the cool stone of the outer wall and was thankful that the night had brought some solstice from the heat. Sinking down to the ground he rested his head in his hands and silently cried. There was no welcoming place for him to go. Struggling to please The Brotherhood was chiseling away at his resolve.

As he wept he could feel a tug at his mind, something creeping on the edge of his subconscious. He raised his head as if willed by another. In front of him was the old chapel. When the new church was built the quaint chapel was no longer needed and Abram decided not to have it included in the compound walls. It remained hidden like a dark secret a fitting place for her hospice.

Benjamin looked around, he was completely alone. No one left the walls of the compound except for the guards. Since they had moved Amy Silvestri to the small chapel everyone, especially Benjamin, was forbidden to enter the cramped space.  Benjamin hurried to the door before he lost his nerve. It opened with a cry that he wasn’t sure was coming from the hinges or further within the structure. The room was dark except for the cold moonlight pouring through the large narrow windows that lined the side walls. The alien glow highlighted the room in an almost colorless blue cancelling out the natural color and leaving the room blanketed in shades of inky black and grey. Benjamin closed the door behind him. He walked past the few rows of dilapidated pews to the altar that now held Amy’s bed.

He felt a tightening in his chest as he gazed down at her beautiful face. Nothing had changed in the decades since he had last seen her. Her golden locks were wrapped tightly in braids. A thin grey sheet blocked out the chill in the air and highlighted the curves of her body. Benjamin stood over her waiting for a sign of life.  

“Benjamin?” a small unsure voice whispered in the darkness.

Benjamin gasped. It was her voice, he was sure of it. He hadn’t heard her voice aloud since the day he left the church but the memory of it lingered in his mind, it haunted his soul, and often invaded his dreams. Her lips had not moved. Her body was still as death and he leaned in closer so that his face nearly touched hers. A breath, a rising of the chest would prove that this was a bedroom and not a crept.

“Why?” the voice asked.

Amy’s eyes began to flutter under her closed eyelids, breaking the calm. A sob began to fill the chapel in all directions, from every corner it came at him. Growing in strength it pushed at him each shove stronger than the last.

“This is your fault! Kill me!” The voice shouted full of anguish. The soft sob grew to a wail. Benjamin stared at Amy‘s unmoving body. He had done this. Amy’s mind filled the room, screamed out for release from this earthly prison with no one to hear her but the monster that had naively delved into the Dark Arts using her for as his test subject.

Benjamin could feel her charging at him from all directions and backed away from the bed in horror. Benjamin continued to back away from Amy’s bed. His foot slipped on the first step of the altar and fell backwards hitting his head hard on the cold tile floor. Amy’s wails intensified and it felt as if the weight of the entire chapel roof was crushing down on his chest. He turned to his stomach and clawed his way to the door.

“I didn’t mean to.” He sobbed.

Benjamin slowly made his way to the door. He slammed it behind him closing the seal and locking Amy, mind and body, inside. A silence more deafening than Amy’s wails filled his ears.

“I loved you.” He whispered more to fill the void than as an excuse.

Benjamin never understood why The Brotherhood called it the Dark Arts. When he found the text locked away in the library detailing all the different Rites he saw the value that they possessed and soon began practicing them in secret. He was thirteen and Amy was fourteen. She would smile at him from across the room but refused to speak to her. Her coy behavior and thoughts of her beautiful pale lips consumed him. He had to see if she more than just a tease. It was the first time he ever used any of the Rites. Abram swiftly shackled him in the basement with a noose around his neck as a constant reminder of his fate. Never had he seen the disastrous results of his acts until tonight. Abram wanted to relieve her misery but her parents refused. They contacted The Order who sent Jeremiah. Jeremiah was their best at manipulating the bond between the body and mind but the damage was done. Benjamin was supposed to hang for what he did. Instead Jeremiah suggested he serve as an Observer.

Jeremiah had seen some quality in him back then. Benjamin only hoped that the old man still felt the same. He breathed in deep. He would go to Jeremiah’s tonight but first he would grant Amy her wish. Benjamin bowed his head and said a prayer for forgiveness. Then he entered the small chapel one last time. Amy still moaned inside.  

“I’m so sorry.” Benjamin said as he picked up a glass candle holder and broke it against the floor. He held the shard of glass to her throat, closed his eyes and in one swift movement released her from this world.

He would not be coming back. Whatever Abram’s goals were would have to be accomplished with the help of some other. Benjamin walked to his car and drove off in the night wondering how long the journey would take. He flipped on the radio to drown out his loneliness and regret.

Author's Note

I've been wrestling with how much to and when to reveal Benjamin's backstory. Please let me know your opinion. Is it too much, does it break up the flow of the story?

Reviews

[Lorrie]

It took me a minute to change the flow from the story to backstory, but I like it.

[Anita]

I love your writing. I don't have any complaints because you have done a wonderful job with this chapter. Its so deep... I just want to know more. *thumbs up* (p.s im like... in love with the Jeremiah character)
.novelists.elite.info.
.display. Anita
.memberID. 043
.division. V
.division.leader. Vacant
.name. ----
.username. sodifferent
.novels.----
.status. New Member
.join date. 07-16-11