Through Mother Natures Eyes

Nature is both Beautiful and Violent. It is my hope to capture both and that you know who is the star of the poem.

The concrete ground is cold

Like the hearts of those that walk My earth

Gives me gooseflesh

The air is hot and sticky

My hair stands on end

The wind is fierce and Violent

My body dances with it

My white dress flowing

The rain is hard and fast

Red marks on my skin

The Lightning bright and electic

I feel it in my veins

The flowers lean towards the sky

Hungry

Sirens sound in the distance

Telling me to hide

But I can not look away

It is for My earth

This is My creation

This is My purpous

And It is beautiful

 

Author's Note

I don't know how well the message comes across. I'am Mother Nature...But not the Earth. I know that most people think them to be one in the same...But I think Mother Nature takes care of the Earth. Works for it..In a since. Also a friend of mine is having a contest about Nature and I was wondering if I should enter this piece...What are your thoughs? If I can't fix it any more I will probably scratch the whole thing.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I think if you want to use personification to depict nature from this point of view you should put yourself in the earth's shoes. Ex. " The concrete against my skin is chill, like the marble mausoleum's stone. Men have dug their dreams in me and raised skyscrapers on my knee. As lighning flashes against my back, I feel the whip and frenzied crack of electricity...as clouds above turn gray to wash my face." Just my thoughts. :-)

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

i really like the imagry you put into this work of art, how it flows through out my brain. i love it. another great poem. :D

[Lalli]

I think it was very well done, the first time i read it, i was a bit confused.. asking what is she really talking about.. then i read your note.. Does the message come across that you are personifying mother nature... not really hunni. I think a more appropriate title would help to convey that though... like, "Mother Nature's View".. my favorite line in the whole thing is " my white dress is flowing" wow... thats perfect!.. very well done, but the message is hidden or possibly re work it to give a biit more of a clue that you are speaking as mother nature?.. does that help?.. i hope so..

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I could not tell you were the earth without your clue. You may have been a goddess etc... In my remake, a few lines and I have established that I am the earth...perspective. I hope this helps.

[Brandon]

I thought it was very well done. You did a great job of painting the picture for me.