Bang, Bang

Just another love poem

 

The air is crisp this evening, chillier than usual this time of year

whispering through the clouds, as if there is a secret

I choose not to hear

Raising goosebumps on ivory skin

Freeing my hair

Yet, I am imprisoned

                            trapped in obscure memories

 

How I’d love to go back in history

solve the mystery

Perhaps not play so loose with the hand I was dealt

Ah… but his only purpose was to save me from another carbon copy scene

to hold me undivided

The artist, the poet, the insatiable lover

        The man

who saw soft curves,

                                manicured nails

                                                and social graces…

                           a delicate flower

 Ignoring the casualty of men and their lecherous eyes

whose terrible lies

                I wear like a disguise

                                                 my armor

 

 Refusing to see the dandelion with a pearl handled pistol

 

Reversing the roles, those wolves now slayed…

Was he just a sacrificial lamb to cleanse my dark soul

or did I truly love and lose?

 

And now, I follow behind picking up the pieces of my reality

confined, confused, and wondering wherever he is…

 

Is the wind catching his hair

setting him free?

 

           Bang, bang

Author's Note

photograph courtesy of pinterest
poetry by MsJewel

Reviews

[Wesley Dingler]

also, very awesome. i love the 357 magnum, it's a real jumper. curious though, i can't be sure myself without looking it up really but is slayed not meant to be slain? again, i'm just reading, and if need be, proofreading, and so far I love it, my lady.
I will dive into your back-catalog now.

[MsJewel]

Thanks again Wes :) Julie

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW....don't mess with Julie! What a great write...and while there are plenty of sensual undertones, it is badass! Lydi**

[MsJewel]

Thank you Lydi. Your comments always leave me with a smile :) Julie

[Einstein Noodle]

kind of ominous Ms. Jewel! wanted a beautiful lovers story but soon enough ..danger danger danger! the bang bang is chilling ...i'd say this girl never loved at all ...too much pain ...and that cheap cleansing in inflicting pain never quite does the trick for long ..reminds me of Aileen Wournos ... she definitely changed the rules didn't she?! as you protagonist ponders i am left to decide if the bag bag is for her or not ....lots of creative tension in this one...quite an adventure from your norm ...a dark noir ... i like it!
E.
ps. and of course the pic is mighty fine ..even for these trifocalled eye balls ;)))

[MsJewel]

I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. Always a pleasure to see you :) Julie

[Norah]

"The air is crisp this evening, chillier than usual this time of year
Whispering through the clouds, as if there is a secret
I choose not to hear"
I think these lines hold a bigger meaning and again I'm fund of your work!
Looking forward to reading more xx

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your kind words. I'm looking forward to reading your writing :)Julie

[Coyote Poetry]

A very nice poem. Reminded me of the old song. Woman who carry a hand gun. Can be dangerous. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry. I enjoyed this one.
Coyote

[MsJewel]

I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. Thanks John :) Julie

[Coyote Poetry]

I did like this one and you are welcome Julie.

[Trace]

Wow wow wow.
Dam I just love this.
You have found the words to encapsulate so much information and history into an incredible poem..
This warms my heart as it makes me feel so melancholy..
Fantastic poem my dearest friend.

Huggs. Trace

[MsJewel]

Thank you Trace - for your inspiration, your comments and your friendship. Hugs, Julie

[Ookpik]

1) I like the anti-hero representation of the speaker (not just "damsel in distress" but 'tigress among jackals').

2) "Pearl handled pistol" as an analogy for the speaker is awesome - nicely alliterated and the grey-scale photo and sepia font highlight the comparison well.

3) The "carbon copy" stanza as a whole underlines the 'combat convention' theme that I think a lot of people (not just women) need to start exercising (staircase structure breaks the stanza well).

4) (and only critique) I get a "James Bond Girl" typecast a little bit - wouldn't go so far as to call it cliche but it does seem to fall within the "film noir" representation.

Like it a lot though - and I typecast my work as much as the next so don't take offense.

[MsJewel]

No offense taken - I appreciate your honesty. It started out as a sappy lost love poem, but I had to add some "tigress" to it :) Julie

[onceloved]

I always love the way you can show different moods in your poetry you always find a way to do it so beautifully Julie. :) Larry

[MsJewel]

Thank you Larry :) Julie

[onceloved]

You are welcome Julie :) Larry

[Sami Khalil]

"The artist, the poet, the insatiable lover

The man

who saw soft curves,

manicured nails

and social graces..

a delicate flower"

[Sami Khalil]

"Reversing the roles, those wolves now slayed

was he just a sacrificial lamb to cleanse my dark soul

or did I truly love and lose?

And now, I follow behind picking up the pieces of my reality"

[Sami Khalil]

A marvelous poem with a story line. What goes around will come around , I gather. The game they play will have them bear the consequences at the end. Wonderful.

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your insightful comment - yes I believe in Karma and it can be a b***h! :) Julie

[Sami Khalil]

All true. You are welcome MissJewel and sparkling diamond.