In the Mist

~ a romantic scribble ~

      

 

In the Mist….

 

He breathes in the cool night air

a vision as light as the mist

                                sweeping my window

 

Haunting memories etched upon my heart

 

unforgettable…yes…

for I’ve felt the tenderness of his touch, his lips

soft,

                           silky,

                                        wet

                 as the night sheds her dew

                          yet is still

as I search for words as lovely as he

 

He is all things beautiful…perhaps not to another’s eye

but to me…

 

He is the whisper in the silence of a dream

weaving the moonlight

                stirring the stars

                                sparkling silver wishes

                                             falling

                  as soft as a summer rain

 

            Leaving me a bit misty eyed

as he flows through my fingers

                impossible to capture

                      except in the mist

 sweeping my window

 

Author's Note

photography compliments of pinterest

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' He is the whisper in the silence of a dream .. .. .. '

Part glory, part tragedy and both... all. wrapped with tenderness, longing and.. a maybe good bye. The end of your poem is more than most such poems, you're speaking aloud, not from paper or screen.. i feel you're hiding behind every word. This comes across as fact, not.. make believe.. is beautiful.

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely comment :) Julie

[barleygirl]

Nicely lyrical descriptions to show how one's heart is enraptured by another. The stanza that starts with this: "He is the whisper . . . " is well crafted with soft word sounds of "s" & graceful alliteration. A dreamy message full of nighttime imagery (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Lyn Anderson]

All things beautiful, at least to me. That cinches it. It's love. I remember that moment clearly, when the flaws fall away, because all of them make up that person who is the one we love (the opposite happens when it's over, too) -- very lovely poem, but then again, they always are.

[Cassie]

This one of my best romantic poems i have read today. This is a really nice thing to say to someone, we poets we can really make someone fall endlessly in love with our words. As for me, if some one told me that, I would be above the clouds jumping like a happy two year old

[Chase]

FINALLY someone else who knows how to utilize space!! I've been dinking around with it for a little while but you're much farther ahead of the curve than me! Its refreshing. The poem itself was also very good:) You express a very subtle rhyming scheme which elimnates that "forced" quality that the majority of writers illustrate, another refreshing thing in this piece of mist. My one critique would be to make sure you add all necessary commas and periods. Your spacial structure paints a good deal of the pace but you still need that punctuation in a piece to keep going the flow. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Robert]

Julie, I just love how you format your pieces I wish I had that talent. Also you pieces are so smooth with the words selection and they have a tender story behind each one.

[Gee]

Beautifully done,and just a scribble,man I'd like to have your scribbling skills as my writing skills..

[MOON]

Beautiful elegant write, romantic,love the way image of mist , descriptive.

[MsJewel]

Thank you Moon :) Julie

[Ana B.]

oh, i've missed reading your work Julie, you are a priceless jem in the sea of beauty.

[MsJewel]

You are so sweet Ana. Thank you :) Julie

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Tender and so eloquently written Jewels...

He is all things beautiful…perhaps not to another’s eye
but to me…

I love that line cause true beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[MsJewel]

Thank you my dear friend :) Julie

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure sweet Julie.

[Saddam]

Vivid picture of everything and every moment.
I just love it.

unforgettable…yes…
for I’ve felt the tenderness of his touch, his lips
soft,
silky,
wet
as the night sheds her dew.

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely words :) Julie