Unhinged

~ don't throw spears ~

            Cold Like the Stars ~ Carrie Graber

 

 

Hurtful words aimed carefully...

           swords

                                                          piercing

                                                                        my

                                                                               heart

                                                            Once thrown

they can never be taken back…

                                                               not really

 

Retaliation rolls off my tongue

with the precision of a sharp shooter

Finding the spot

                                                                         that quickly leaves

                                                                                                          complete silence

 

except for the slam of the door on his way out

 

Perhaps I should remove the hinges…

 

Reviews

[dan]

Julie, The style of writing in this piece is a perfect match for the content, which is simply excellent. I know now that I need to read you more often; there are so many words, passages that hit home while I read...left me wishing the write was longer. And your closing line ties the whole piece up in a glossy bow: "Perhaps I should remove the hinges..." Perfect ending, ta da! I'm becoming a fan of yours, I hope you don't mind 8^) take care...dan (My real name; I use a pen name on the other site I post stuff, I regret that I didn't use my name when I registered. riki is actually the name of our ferret.) Thanks for sharing this with us. dan

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your kind words Dan. The feeling is mutual. I'm becoming a fan of yours as well. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece - a bit of a stretch from my usual rosy romantic pen. :) Julie

[dan]

Julie, I'm not suggesting that you stray from your romantic writes, just that stretching out in the darker direction can often yield results that are outstanding, like "Unhinged." take care...dan

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You capture that argument so well in this flowing spat of a poem Julie. The final line is a killer!

[Michael Wright]

You find the most interesting art pieces to match or inspire your poems.
I like y9ou like keep it going!

[MsJewel]

Thank you Michael. I love art almost as much as I love poetry. I'm thriled you enjoyed my poem. :) Julie

[pvpd sri harsha]

unhinged means???

very superb are photos madam ???
why photos???
brainsick, crazy, demented, mad, unbalanced, sick, disturbed
Synonyms
balmy, barmy [chiefly British], bats, batty, bedlam, bonkers, brainsick, bughouse [slang], certifiable, crackbrained, cracked, crackers, crackpot, cranky [dialect], crazed, crazy, cuckoo, daffy, daft, demented, deranged, fruity [slang], gaga, haywire, kooky (also kookie), loco [slang], loony (also looney), loony tunes (or looney tunes), lunatic, mad, maniacal (also maniac), mental, meshuga (or meshugge also meshugah or meshuggah), moonstruck, non compos mentis, nuts, nutty, psycho, psychotic, scatty [chiefly British], screwy, unbalanced, insane, unsound, wacko (also whacko), wacky (also whacky), wud [chiefly Scottish]
Antonyms
balanced, compos mentis, sane, sound, uncrazy
retaliation
rɪˌtalɪˈeɪʃn/Submit
noun
the action of returning a military attack; counter-attack.
"the bombings are believed to be in retaliation for the trial of 15 suspects"
synonyms: revenge, vengeance, reprisal, retribution, requital, recrimination, an eye for an eye (and a tooth for a tooth), getting even, redress, repayment, payback; More

*** i understand madam
today it seems i want to read
your poems
something is there
which i feel
i should read...
perhaps a little known things
may be...
may be not
but....
i am reading...

one here is a fact...
i like your simple writing

in hindi " called {sagar me gagar}
to explain the very big thing in small and simple
say " brief and precise".

good madam...

p.v.p.d. sri harsha...

[Saddam]

Once thrown
they can never be taken back…

So realistic poem. Love it.

[MsJewel]

Thank you :) Julie

[Ana B.]

agh....simply wow.....i never fail to be amazed...smoldering and smashing. wow again Julie.

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely comment and compliment Ana :) Julie

[Lydia Shutter]

Words can and do hurt...and once said can never be taken back. Revenge, though, is not as satisfying as one might think. I like the empowerment of this one....but then I think all your poetry is exceptional. Lydi**

[MsJewel]

Sorry it's taken so long to thank you Lydi. I appreciate your wonderful compliment so very much. Hugs, Julie

[RAOrourke]

Retaliation rolls off my tongue

with the precision of a sharp shooter

Finding the spot

that quickly leaves

complete silence
Julie....this is such a wonderful poem, No words are useless in this powerful piece. Really speaks to the reader and flows very well. Great job

[Michael G.]

A very real and honest look at life as it is. A very enjoyable, thoughtful read.
(Perhaps swinging doors like in the bars of the old west . . . where gunfights might often break out. )

[MsJewel]

Swinging doors may work! :) Julie

[Alfred Kukitz]

Some strong huff & puff in this one. Did I hear the door slam?