A Footprint in the Rain

~ a heartprint ~

            photograph compliments of pinterest

 

          

Words are weak and so in silence held

I lie still to hear his tender breath

rise above the whisper of the rain…

 

His kiss was as light as dawn’s first dew

that on calm mornings glistened ‘pon the buds

of flowers soft in bloom as lilies grew

tall against the wind,

                                                                in strength,

                                                                  ‘til rain

would find us but could never wash away

the guilt that hid in clouds above our bed

or the lust that still haunts my soul at night

even through the flood of useless tears

 

How I wish to rock him in an endless dream

to feel his lips gently kiss away

the fall of rain and yet he hangs his head

 

His footprint etched upon my grieving heart

                    

 

Reviews

[Woody]

such raw emotions and such tenderness. I'm always awed by poets like you, Julie, who manage tto convey an array of feelings with breathtaking expressions. to me, the last line is a killer.
the guilt here tells me the lady is in turmoil because of something she did (?)

lovely poem.

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your kind and insightful review Woody. Have a lovely day :) Julie

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

So much emotion, tenderness and depth, in this poem.

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your kind words :) Julie

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome.

[Angad Waraich]

"His footprint etched upon my grieving heart"
This line gave me goosebumps.
Another beautiful master piece

Thank you
-Angad

[SmittyJas]

What a statement of how someone could be missed so much and away from your life leaving foot prints on your mind. A love never to be forgotten may be a crack in ones heart to be so deeply in love with some special person throughout life. Keeps me wanting a lust of life as love makes an impressions on my mind in my past love was a cruel joke it was blind I would welcome love if TRUE.

[B.J]

That was such an emotional piece, you ebb your feelings so deeply in your words. Your writing is a special gift to us all.

[MsJewel]

Wow! You have made my day with your lovely comment :) Julie

[B.J]

you're most welcome

[ImSJ]

After reading this several times I'm still unclear about the cause of the speaker's obvious grief. I would hazard a guess that infidelity comes in to it somewhere, though. I will say that there are some excellent lines here. The first stanza can hold its own with any Very good stuff. The second stanza is obscure and disappointing after the promise of the first. The third stanza is tepid but for the line "the guilt that hid in clouds above our bed". More very good stuff there. Stanza four is solid work as a conclusion. Better than the ultimate line which may have been better worked into the body of the poem.

[MsJewel]

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate your thoughts. This poem holds a special place in my heart. I'm going to work on that second verse. Thanks again. :) Julie

[Vidya Bacchus]

Your words are bitter sweet and tender.Another beauty dear Jules :)

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely comment :) Julie

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Alfred Kukitz]

You have a tenderness with words that a new born could feel. Bravo!

[MsJewel]

You are very kind. Thank you :) Julie

[David Scott]

Julie, I have tears fighting to the surface reading this poetry... It is amazing how another soul could so accurately pen the emotions I have within my own life experience. It tells me, I am not alone and I am not so different form the others in this place...
Your poetry also transports me to a place in my own life experience filled with the rainy day mix of love and loss, of beginnings and endings, of forever changing the core of my being.
Lovely, beautiful, sad, joyful, refreshing, and reflective emotions all at one time from this very fine piece of poetry!

[MsJewel]

I'm so glad my poem touched your heart David. Thank you for your kind comment and compliment. :) Julie

[Scott Metro]

What a lucky man to inspire such depth from you...we are lucky too to read your awesome, humanness.
Very touching..!!!

Scott

[MsJewel]

You are very sweet Scott. Thank you :) Julie