Splish Splash

~ a rainy spring afternoon fantasy ~

photograph compliments of pinterest

 

 

 

The soft pitter patter of spring rain

is the perfect compliment

to an April afternoon

 

A gift of love

for the beauty of the earth

and a beautiful field of daisies

and a poet who dreams of flying…

 

If I could paint you a rainbow

with the colors of my love

I would….

 

If my heart had wings

 

Yes,

I love the spring rain

Reviews

[Nusquam Esse]

A simple concept, but one which almost everyone would relate; who doesn't enjoy the early rain? The smell and feeling of petrichor, as the earth lets loose her hidden blood. The only part of this that I think has an issue is the second stanza; you repeat 'and', usually we add more ands than we need and it makes our writing stagnant. In fact, usually we can remove it without even replacing it! I also recommend varying your word choice for 'beauty' since you repeat it as well. And honestly, while beauty is a great idea, the word is so overused that it has lost much of its magic. I recommend trying to use metaphors here to make the sentences more powerful and more unique; after all, the first word people think of when they see a field of flowers is 'beautiful', choose something less predictable. Good Luck!

[MsJewel]

Thank you for sharing some great ideas. I do tend to use the word beauty or beautiful too often. I will definitely try some of your ideas. Have a beautiful day :) Julie

[MsJewel]

oopps...did it again. Have a fabulous day! stunning, lovely....LOL...
:)

[Nusquam Esse]

*cough* Ostentatious Occasions I do say, I mean... Indubitably... :P

[Baby Ricochet]

I love the rain. I love it even more now

[melissa]

This is a beautiful poem keep up the great work and keep them coming

[The Representative]

I was intrigued at first, by this subject matter.



For me, it's the sun; for me........it's on an early spring evening, a rich orange-pink skyline.



It's for me, the deep orange-pink skyline, in early evening, that makes spring one of the most profound things we get to experience in all of human existence.




If I can ask, whenever it rains Jewel, might you at least occasionally be conscientious, of the idea of your staying to indulge in it making you stand out, amongst other people?


I ask because, despite our not being encouraged in the mainstream to talk about things like this, I'm sure we all very much do think about things like this.



Lovely poem, as are all your others. Enjoy the rest of your day.

[MsJewel]

If I can ask, whenever it rains Jewel, might you at least occasionally be conscientious, of the idea of your staying to indulge in it making you stand out, amongst other people? I'm afraid I'm at bit lost and not quite understanding what you are asking. Julie

[Trace]

I think this comment is trying to say something, however, ,,,
it misses what ever point might have been made due to the incoherent manner in which it is written.

I wouldn't pay it too much attention except the last line.

[Trace]

That or someone is huffing glue

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. I take it you were away on holiday while the rest of soaked for weeks on end. Only kidding. Nice little poem again. Clive.

[MsJewel]

Sorry you soaked for weeks - we're still experiencing a drought here in California - although we have had two or three days of rain....Still, isn't the rain lovely? :) Julie

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

TWO or THREE days. In context we had 45 days when it rained every day. NOW they're telling us there might be a water shortage. When I reincarnate I'm coming back as a duck.

[Frieda P]

Sigh worthy poetry you've etched here Julie, flying high in all the colors of the rainbow and spring rain, what a luverly sentiment. :)

[MsJewel]

Thank you Frieda :) Julie

[Frieda P]

I'll be back to read again next time it rains, won't seem so dreary. My pleasure always Julie :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

"If I could paint you a rainbow

with the colors of my love

I would…." These are the very most sweetest lines ever Jules :)

[Devesh]

Wonderful poetry, Julie!

"A gift of love
for the beauty of the earth
and a beautiful field of daisies
and a poet who dreams of flying"

This reminded me of Wordsworth's Daffodills. Great job! :)

[MsJewel]

Thank you for your lovely comment and compliment. Have a beautiful day :) Julie

[Devesh]

You're welcome! You too :)

[Passionate_yatish]

use of nice words..:)
and perfect sense of poetry..
good work

[MsJewel]

Thank you :) Julie

[Passionate_yatish]

always a pleasure :)

[Trace]

This is such an uplifting and airy poem. Makes me want to fly with you.

Love springtime.
Trace

[MsJewel]

I do too. We have had a few days, here and there, of rain...not enough though...Have a beautiful day Trace Hugs, Julie

[Anand Sehgal]

A gift of love

for the beauty of the earth

and a beautiful field of daisies

------so smooth flow of words narrating a scene, a truth . You are wonderful at heart and gifted.

Love you :)
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[MsJewel]

You are very sweet. Thank you :) Julie