A simple concept, but one which almost everyone would relate; who doesn't enjoy the early rain? The smell and feeling of petrichor, as the earth lets loose her hidden blood. The only part of this that I think has an issue is the second stanza; you repeat 'and', usually we add more ands than we need and it makes our writing stagnant. In fact, usually we can remove it without even replacing it! I also recommend varying your word choice for 'beauty' since you repeat it as well. And honestly, while beauty is a great idea, the word is so overused that it has lost much of its magic. I recommend trying to use metaphors here to make the sentences more powerful and more unique; after all, the first word people think of when they see a field of flowers is 'beautiful', choose something less predictable. Good Luck!
Thank you for sharing some great ideas. I do tend to use the word beauty or beautiful too often. I.. read moreThank you for sharing some great ideas. I do tend to use the word beauty or beautiful too often. I will definitely try some of your ideas. Have a beautiful day :) Julie
10 Years Ago
oopps...did it again. Have a fabulous day! stunning, lovely....LOL...
:)
10 Years Ago
*cough* Ostentatious Occasions I do say, I mean... Indubitably... :P
A beautiful poem for the warm rain. I need a warm Spring day. Photo and words made me wish for a tropical place. Thank you dear Poet for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you for your kind words. Hurry spring! :) Julie
╰☆╮This is so sweet. I'm not a huge fan of rain, but sometimes I find it nice. Also, I love the font you used here. It fits perfectly with the piece. Great poem!╰☆╮
A simple concept, but one which almost everyone would relate; who doesn't enjoy the early rain? The smell and feeling of petrichor, as the earth lets loose her hidden blood. The only part of this that I think has an issue is the second stanza; you repeat 'and', usually we add more ands than we need and it makes our writing stagnant. In fact, usually we can remove it without even replacing it! I also recommend varying your word choice for 'beauty' since you repeat it as well. And honestly, while beauty is a great idea, the word is so overused that it has lost much of its magic. I recommend trying to use metaphors here to make the sentences more powerful and more unique; after all, the first word people think of when they see a field of flowers is 'beautiful', choose something less predictable. Good Luck!
Thank you for sharing some great ideas. I do tend to use the word beauty or beautiful too often. I.. read moreThank you for sharing some great ideas. I do tend to use the word beauty or beautiful too often. I will definitely try some of your ideas. Have a beautiful day :) Julie
10 Years Ago
oopps...did it again. Have a fabulous day! stunning, lovely....LOL...
:)
10 Years Ago
*cough* Ostentatious Occasions I do say, I mean... Indubitably... :P
Oh this is so fabulous, I love the rain, I could watch it for hours… your poem is so eloquent, blissful and has such a carefree attitude. I so love your poetry.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you my dear friend. I love the rain as well..unfortunately we haven't had much of it this year.. read moreThank you my dear friend. I love the rain as well..unfortunately we haven't had much of it this year...Rain dance anyone? Hugs, Julie
10 Years Ago
I know we haven't either, thank you for blessing us with your beautiful thoughts.
Something refreshing about it, isn't there? You do such vision immense justice...brings a whole new feeling to April showers - makes them achingly pleasurable! x
I love spring and summer I live in Wisconsin and it's beautiful how the four seasons change we just had a long winter it's just now starting to be nice yea!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Enjoy your beautiful weather! :) Julie
10 Years Ago
oh most certain it's sad when we have long winter's gets depressing.
I like this poem. a spring rain, unlike winter rain can be beautiful. people are accustomed to beautiful sunsets and flowers and butterflies in poetry. this brings to mind: I am singing in the rain.
beautiful poem.
I've been writing poetry for 15 years. My poetry isn't unique in any way, but it is written from the heart.
I have trouble keeping up with everyone's poetry, so please send me rr's.
I enjoy rec.. more..