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I'm supposedly at a moment in my life where it feels like a pause or rather pretty much plain but I've been on the casual.

Everything's a bit indifferent and I'm often left pondering so hardly. A thousand counts of possibilities while being casual.

Perhaps having relations while setting my direction could put me back on pace so I'm trying the slowly app but i haven't made any friends so far.
I didn't know if it was simply because of my perceptions.

I learnt from a video on reels that it was a sense of paradox or being paradoxical.
i want friends but didn't like to reach out much and when eventually i was able to.. I tend to spot traits in a person that just didn't seat right with my personality.

I'd love to have conversations about stuffs and laugh but sometimes i was irritated by the lengths of how cheaply people indulged, how could people seat casually and project.. Lies? .

I simply can't imagine myself ignoring certain things just so i could pass time meaninglessly...
Thats just one of my views,... Is it too odd?, too delusional? or perhaps a bit overboard?.

there are off days where i can't seem to.. I guess my energy is just drained.

In my daily life it's a constant struggle in terms of socializing and all that. I can't seem too blend, i don't want to..

I really don't want to but in the walls of this isolation, there are countless words and thoughts left unsaid and unshared. There's a sense of sadness when the only thing i can hear are the echoes of my thoughts and the unsaid.

How intensely i hold supposedly "little or casual things"
Is it wrong that it isn't casual nor exactly little to me?.

In the end it's all depressing yet I seek solace.

Author's Note

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